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Love Making Tips For Seniors

  1. Wear your glasses. TO make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

  2. Set timer for 3 minutes, In case you doze off in the middle.

  3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

  4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

  5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

  6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

  7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

  8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf too.

  9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN.... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?

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Comments

CuddleFish March 25, 2010 @ 6:09 p.m.

Awwwww bless! :)

(I think all of these apply to me!)

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nan shartel March 25, 2010 @ 8:18 p.m.

ssssshhh ...i won't tell anyone Cuddles

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MsGrant March 25, 2010 @ 8:26 p.m.

"Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed."

Who needs teeth?!?! Might be more fun without them....

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CuddleFish March 25, 2010 @ 10:12 p.m.

Ooooh, hot, I say, hot, MsG!!!!!!!!!!! :P

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Duhbya March 26, 2010 @ 4:24 a.m.

"Who needs teeth?!?! Might be more fun without them...."

Truthhth me on thith one MthGee, it ithhh!

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nan shartel March 26, 2010 @ 10:50 a.m.

OMG...so funny...uh oh...the Truthhth comes out...hahahahahahaha :-))

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Duhbya March 26, 2010 @ 12:34 p.m.

Brace yourselves - grossout alert! When I read #7, I heard a tune: "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my gummy". Sincerest apologies. ;>)

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antigeekess March 26, 2010 @ 10:31 p.m.

One of my past screen names was "Ima Littleweed." I said I was 96. Used to gross the younguns out by saying things like "Once you've had a woman with no teeth, you'll never go back, Sonny!!!"

:)

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Duhbya March 27, 2010 @ 4:40 a.m.

Ima B. Leever, then. Did you get any proposals?

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nan shartel March 27, 2010 @ 6:26 a.m.

hahahahahahahahaha...u peeps r so nicely incorrigible...it is gross but funny as hell 2 eh??

i think this one is the funniest

AND 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?

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