this was written back in 2010...when i was still a comedian...hahahahaha...my "come Rattle My Cage" blog is public again for those who might was a laugh or two

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One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?'' "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband? The Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress.The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.. You see, if I had said "no" to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said "no" to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said "yes," you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said "yes" to George Clooney. And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others

. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed, a woman who can't sew and would rather have Brad Pitt please

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Comments

MsGrant June 10, 2010 @ 8:26 p.m.

For years I had an "I Love Brad" Tiger Beat-style sticker in my car. One time my husband took it in for service, and when the tech sat in the driver's seat he said "I assume this is your wife's car"!! My husband deadpanned "no, it's mine. Why do you ask?" Classic!! I love Brad!! Now if we could just get rid of that wife of his...

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nan shartel June 10, 2010 @ 9:11 p.m.

Clooney is way 2 deadpan for me...Brad is ooooolaaaaalaaa

but after i wrestled him from Angelina's arms i think i'd have to arm wrestle Clooney to keep him :-O

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nan shartel June 10, 2010 @ 9:15 p.m.

oh Granrtie...Dr Peanut is ur avatar now

yippee!!!

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SDaniels June 10, 2010 @ 11:09 p.m.

Did you write this one, nan? Pure genius! ;)

annndd, I'll take Clooney, please. For that sense of humor. Same comic gift as Alec Baldwin, who's also a hottie (with a few less lbs), but he's out, due to relation to nitwit bigmouth Stephen Baldwin. ;(

Pitt's with Jolie, collecting children at fever pitch. Jolie, whose own father has let on that she is psychiatrically ill and a total narcissist.

What does that say about him, hmmmm?

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CuddleFish June 11, 2010 @ 5:42 a.m.

Y'all making me glad I ain't into straight men no more. :)

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antigeekess June 11, 2010 @ 5:53 a.m.

Damn. Daniels beat me to Clooney. Oh well, I'll just have to settle for...

TA DAAAAAAAA!!!!

:D

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MsGrant June 11, 2010 @ 8:50 a.m.

AHHHH!! The masturbation video!!!

Wrestle Clooney for Brad - snort. True, true.

I LOVE Alec Baldwin. He is my forever fattie. I just wanna hug him and wuv him.

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CuddleFish June 11, 2010 @ 8:51 a.m.

BTW, AG, it would be easy as pie to drop that vid into DB's thread. Will you permit me?

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nan shartel June 12, 2010 @ 2:50 p.m.

to wry for me SDaniels...i see no twinkle in Clooneys eye

me likie Alec..let's put him on a push up diet Grantie...hahahahahaha

some peoples kids get slammed by their parents even when they don't raise them...i fell in love with Angelina when she was the apple perky breasted MIA...altho that marriage to Jim Bob ..or Billy Bob was weirdness squared

SNAP!!!

i think Narcissism is the entrance card into acting as a career

let's do an Alec blog...yippee!!!

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nan shartel June 12, 2010 @ 2:57 p.m.

holy mother of gawd auntie G...i'm not alone...hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

but my nostrils r flaring!!!

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nan shartel June 12, 2010 @ 3:02 p.m.

ooooooooooooooo...i'd give all the jewels in those thimbles for that invigorating Viggo

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antigeekess June 12, 2010 @ 5:26 p.m.

Cuddle, feel free to have Viggo drop in on Bauder if you like. I'm sure he'll enjoy the visit. :)

Yes, nanners, he's InViggoRating, that's fer sure!

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MsGrant June 12, 2010 @ 8:26 p.m.

I'll take the fat Alec, more to wuv!!

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MsGrant June 13, 2010 @ 1:15 p.m.

Pleeeenty of Alec to go around, Nanners!!

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