Garrett Harris 10:11 p.m., May 23
How bad is the economy?
The economy is so bad that:
. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
"With the price of food nowadays, it's cheaper to eat money."
--Dick Gregory (added by russl)
. African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
that they taking reservations, even at the jail! (added by Founder)
. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
. B.P. laid off 25 Congressmen.
How do you define an optimist?
A bank manager who irons 5 shirts on Sunday night. (added by Ms Grant)
. My ATM gave me an IOU!
With everything that's been blamed on the economy, the economy should be thrown in jail. (added by russl)
. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
No more 'Pope on a rope', at the Vatican (added by Ms Grant). .
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
Nan, in this economy, I'm afraid that the only thing I can afford to add is a quarter-liner ;) (added by refried)
The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market. (added by Ms Grant)
They renamed Wall Street "Wal-MartStreet ."
The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. (added by Ms Grant)
Things are so bad, that Don Bauder is asking for help! (added by Founder)
. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear! And, finally...
. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...