Image

How bad is the economy?

The economy is so bad that:

. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

"With the price of food nowadays, it's cheaper to eat money."

--Dick Gregory (added by russl)

. African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

that they taking reservations, even at the jail! (added by Founder)

. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

. B.P. laid off 25 Congressmen.

How do you define an optimist?

A bank manager who irons 5 shirts on Sunday night. (added by Ms Grant)

. My ATM gave me an IOU!

With everything that's been blamed on the economy, the economy should be thrown in jail. (added by russl)

. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

No more 'Pope on a rope', at the Vatican (added by Ms Grant). .

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

. A picture is now only worth 200 words.

Nan, in this economy, I'm afraid that the only thing I can afford to add is a quarter-liner ;) (added by refried)

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market. (added by Ms Grant)

They renamed Wall Street "Wal-MartStreet ."

The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. (added by Ms Grant)

Things are so bad, that Don Bauder is asking for help! (added by Founder)

. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear! And, finally...

. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

Comments

David Dodd July 27, 2010 @ 4:02 p.m.

That's pretty bad. I keep waiting for someone to fix this mess, but all I hear is crickets ;)

0

Founder July 27, 2010 @ 4:12 p.m.

-- Very Bad --

Mirror Mirror, on the far wall whose the baddest off of them all?

If the worrisome fickle finger of fate, doesn't point itself at me, that would be great.

I've already had more than my share, pointing again at me, it don't dare.

When will other folks learn, next, may be their own turn.

Wish as I may, wish as I might, having real bad luck, don't seem right.

How bad is bad, you had to say; thinking about it spoiled my day!

If what I said, made you very sad, at least that's better than feeling Bad.

0

SurfPuppy619 July 27, 2010 @ 9:21 p.m.

LOL...Oh man did this bring a smile to my face!!!!

These are hilarious!

0

nan shartel July 27, 2010 @ 11:47 p.m.

r4efried...i keep hoping it's fixable...and that the cricket r friendly...hahahahahaha

0

nan shartel July 27, 2010 @ 11:51 p.m.

it is suppose to cast a humorous view Founder...but it is hard to get a laugh going sometime isn't it..all we hear is GREED GREED GREED....and NEED NEED NEED....it's enough to make a poetic clown cry

wwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

0

nan shartel July 27, 2010 @ 11:52 p.m.

they r funny...if economic collapse can be funny....hahaahahahaha!!!

0

Founder July 28, 2010 @ 8:16 a.m.

Response to # 5 (that rhyme took a big "dive" :-0

-- When I'm Bad --

I apologize to you all if my rhyming words made you ball,

I was trying to be honest but funny, and hit the blogs subject, right on the money.

Now that I know the intended direction, I'll be better at my word erection!

I'll tell you "How Bad is Bad", if I could, "it's when things are such that, "Just" Bad is Good"!

Sorry if I spoiled your Blogs tone and pace, I'll strive to put a big smile on your face.

I'll try and match nan's blog style, but it will be tough, I guess I'll have to ask, "How Good Is Good Enough"?

Give me a while to post it later today, then you all can blog and tell me what you say.

Hope you are now VERY happy and that makes you all Smile, I'll be looking forward to your great comments in a while!

That might, on your first glance, be thought of as "Sappy", but with all your great insights, we'll define "Happy".

0

MsGrant July 28, 2010 @ 5:51 p.m.

That was great, Nan!! I'd rather laugh than cry!!

The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 12:56 p.m.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha...i need to add that to the list Grantie...any more peeps...lets make the list as long as we can!!!

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 12:59 p.m.

founder come add to the list with a one liner homey

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 1 p.m.

surf puppy...u bring one 2 waterdawg!!!

0

Founder July 29, 2010 @ 1:03 p.m.

Things are so bad, that Don Bauder is asking for help!

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 1:11 p.m.

good one Founder..

that asking for help confused me 2...but he may be just getting ready for the POOH PICNIC...

he has to drive 1100 miles u know

0

MsGrant July 29, 2010 @ 1:11 p.m.

How do you define an optimist?

A bank manager who irons 5 shirts on Sunday night.

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 1:15 p.m.

oh i love that one Grantie...thx hunnypanties!!!!!

0

Russ Lewis July 29, 2010 @ 1:15 p.m.

"With the price of food nowadays, it's cheaper to eat money."

 --Dick Gregory

With everything that's been blamed on the economy, the economy should be thrown in jail.

 --anon.
0

MsGrant July 29, 2010 @ 1:28 p.m.

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 1:43 p.m.

truer words were never spoken Grantie...what blaggard they r!!!

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 2:13 p.m.

Refried...come add a one liner wilya homey...

0

Founder July 29, 2010 @ 2:50 p.m.

  • and it's so strong, it produces, "Shock and Awe"...

    20

0

Founder July 29, 2010 @ 3:02 p.m.

Now things are really so very bad and our times are so frail, that they taking reservations, even at the jail! . So how bad is that one, or is it a good Juan? . How bad can it be, please now, you tell me!

0

David Dodd July 29, 2010 @ 3:21 p.m.

Nan, in this economy, I'm afraid that the only thing I can afford to add is a quarter-liner ;)

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 3:29 p.m.

i'm insulated Founder..by by a fixed income..retirement...and age

i worry for u young ones..i was born at the end of the last depression...my folks traded coffee coupons for milk coupons to feed me

i remember people talking after Roosevelt's Fireside chats on the radio as a youngster...as the President for nearly 4 terms he was the guiding and steadying influence in the country

when he died everyone in our neighborhood came out into the middle of our streets and cried uncontrollably

a that time it took 2 years after the Wall Street Market crash for the worst of the depression to begin to affect the public...there was much to contend with then...the Dust Bowl claiming so many states was far worst then our current oil spill

it seemed like all of Americas bread basket farmers were ruined and roaming

Roosevelt was elected in '32 and he instituted sweeping societal reforms

created jobs by creating various work programs...expanded civil service CCC and WPA etc to counteract unemployment

there was corruption then...but it wasn't tolerated the way it is now...and those who did hurl insult at good people didn't last long in public affairs

i hope it won't be as bad Founder...but only time will tell......

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 3:31 p.m.

hahahahahahaha...i love that Refried...a quarter-liner it is then...hahahahahahahahaha ;-)

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 3:34 p.m.

i'm looking for a puppy to come and leave a line

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 3:36 p.m.

Bauder was born in '36...he'd be able to tell us a lot...we should ask him 2

0

MsGrant July 29, 2010 @ 3:56 p.m.

IT'S THIS BAD!!

No more 'Pope on a rope', says the Vatican.

"A spokesman for the Catholic Church in England and Wales said: This is not about financial gain or commercial interests.

It is simply an attempt to preserve the integrity of the Pope’s image at a time when there is a plethora of new media and there may be concern that it is used inappropriately.'"

http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/pope-soap-on-a-rope.html

0

MsGrant July 29, 2010 @ 4:53 p.m.

I know! I guess the Vatican wants a piece of the "Pope on a Rope" action now! They've been getting stiffed all these years, but there is still no copyright on the Pope's image. Well, times are tough for everyone, I guess....

0

nan shartel July 29, 2010 @ 4:56 p.m.

i want to write somethin' back to u then i read "STIFFED" and ROTFLMAO!!!~!!!!!!!!

0

Sign in to comment

Join our
newsletter list

Enter to win $25 at Broken Yolk Cafe

Each newsletter subscription
means another chance to win!

Close