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Day late and a dollar short - story of my life. Just months after Ethan Hawke found some 8mm films belonging to the previous owners of his house that wound up depicting a series of horrific crimes in Sinister...

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Ha ha - family hanging out, get it?

...I have to go clean out a makeshift cubby in my garage, an exercise that leads me to discover a box left over from the previous owners. A box that contains this:

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Let's just imagine, shall we?

A. Setting the mood with a home version of the Dean Martin spy spoof The Silencers, just the trailer of which features an astonishing amount of sex and violence, sometimes in combination:

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It's okay, she was about to stab him in the back.

B. Kodak M28 Instamatic 8mm movie camera, to record the fun.

C. Panasonic audio cassette recorder plus two microphones, to add the miracle of sound to the proceedings.

D. Choke-chain collar. 'Nuff said.

E. Stethoscope, in case you start having too much fun with the choke-chain collar and need to check on your "patient's" contidion.

F. The 8mm fruits of your labors.

G. Pair of small speakers, to add that surround sound effect during playback.

H. Petri dish. I don't wanna know.

I. Alcohol lamp. Alcohol lamps are usually found in biology labs where they do inoculations of bacteria cultures. I still don't wanna know.

What's that you say? I have no business subjecting the detritus of people I don't even know to my lurid, modern imagination? Fine, fine. Let's just zoom in on that top roll of 8mm, shall we?

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Ah, yes, the Money Murders.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm renting me an 8mm projector.

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Comments

E.V. Hepworth Jan. 17, 2013 @ 12:46 p.m.

Great post... You have set my imagination a-flutter! Plus that trailer was fantastic.

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Reader_reader Jan. 17, 2013 @ 1:02 p.m.

The RDE in MURDERS clearly means something. Initials, perhaps?

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metapunk Jan. 17, 2013 @ 3:17 p.m.

I have a Super 8mm projector but now I'm afraid to let you use it.

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Matthew Lickona Jan. 17, 2013 @ 4:17 p.m.

Aw, don't be. I went and peeked; it's a homemade thriller, done by the kids who lived here. Title cards and everything. But thanks for reading. I still may rent that projector!

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Colonna Jan. 17, 2013 @ 5:48 p.m.

Get it transferred and post it to YouTube!

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Jay Allen Sanford Jan. 17, 2013 @ 7:01 p.m.

Wild! I have a bunch of film cans full of undeveloped 16mm film that I found while refurbishing a former porn theater and peep show emporium in National City back in 1987. The markings on the plastic film packages look like dates and maybe locale abbreviations - the company that ran the previous place also made porn films, so I've always assumed that's what's in the cans.

Who knows, tho, WHO might appear in the footage - future celebs, or just moonlighting strippers and the like? Without knowing more, I've never felt it worth the great expense of getting the films developed - not like I could market the contents myself (not without the model releases anyway....).

Still, tho, an enduring mystery 'round here........

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