Edna St. Vincent Millay 9 p.m., Dec. 24
What is the sound of one film pandering?
Let's begin. Vince Vaughn is 42. Owen Wilson is 44. But for the sake of The Internship, they might as well be a couple of Foxy Grampas, looking to wind their pocketwatches before a night on the town the old horse & buggy. Oh, wait - not pocketwatches. Wrist watches.
I got my first cell phone around 1997, and I was hardly an early adopter. I stopped wearing a watch around the same time, because duh, I had a phone with a clock on it. 1997 was 16 years ago, yet these clowns are shocked when their watch company goes under in 2013, because everything's computers all of a sudden?
Ha ha! A Terminator reference! Because The Terminator came out nearly 30 years ago!
I will say this once: these guys are Gen Xers. They may not be the generation that invented the Internet and the personal computer, but they are the generation that made them culturally ubiquitous. This webcam thingy that the boys can't quite get the gist of?
It debuted in 1994. Nearly 20 years ago, when these guys were in their twenties. Hey, you know what else besides technology the Olds have trouble understanding? Ethnic food.
It's funny because they can't figure out how to eat it! But I think my favorite bit is the Rubik's Cube reference. The Rubik's Cube came out in 1980. That was 33 years ago, when Vince and Owen were absolutely 100% the target audience. And they're staring at it here like it's The Future incarnate. How do these kids do it?
No, no, wait. That's not my favorite reference. My favorite reference is this last one. Vince and Owen are old, so they don't realize that when the cool kids start talking about Professor Xavier, they're talking about a comic book superhero!
Professor Xavier made his comic book debut in 1963, seven years before Vince Vaughn was born. So: Terminator references = laughably olde-timey. X-Men references = too hip for the hip-replacement set. Because dumb.
This is perhaps the laziest comedy effort yet from these jokers. Hey, young people: old people are old! They don't get your crazy cultural shenanigans, with your multi-colored beanies and your ping-pong and your coding! Hey old people: we can still do cool things, cuz we've got, like, wisdom and experience! Plus, remember all that cool stuff from when we were kids? Oof.