White Trash food, canning, pies, beets, turkey, bread pudding, asparagus, potlucks, sweet potatoes, rhubarb, spinach, Easter bunnies, jellybeans, ice cream, apricots, and dog food served as paté
3:58 p.m., Feb. 19
Matthew took the week off for a round of intense behavioral counseling -- that's what he gets for stroking my backside and placing me in the Lickona headlock -- so it's my turn to hip our readers to this week's openings. (THIS MEANS YOU, MONAGHAN!)
The only film worth seeing this week is the Mexican black comedy Fecha de Caducidad (Expiration Date) currently playing at the Digital Gym.
Do you have Prince Avalanche in a can? If so, don't let it out!
Europa Report = Restless Leg Syndrome x 100!
Two sex pics open today. The skit-driven We're the Millers exists solely to explain recreational marijuana use and kinky sex to Red-Staters. It also allows Jennifer Aniston a chance to almost get naked before she hits the wall. Either reason is an excuse to take a pass. They didn't bother to screen Lovelace, starring Amanda Seyfried as porn's first household name. It opens today at Reading Cinemas Gaslamp 15. I'm curious.
With Lickona and his kids temporarily out of the picture, there was no way in hell that I was going to subject myself to Disney's Cars with wings.
Finally, another kernel of Comic-Con crapola called Elysium hits town today.