Jeff Smith 11:52 a.m., May 21
Need a last minute Halloween costume?
Last year you learned how to transform a bottle of fake blood and a pair of sunglasses into The Godfather's Moe Green.
This year, why not go dressed as America's favorite sociopathic Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle? Here's all you do! You'll need a skinhead wig and rat-tail comb to bring the Mohawked hack to life. Use the pointy end of the comb to poke a row of small holes across the top of the bald cap. Pull the cap taut over your head and use the comb to gently pull your hair through the holes and before you can say "You're gonna' die in a hell like the rest of them," instant Bickle!
Here I am at a 1982 Halloween party with the first Mrs. Kane. I suggest you leave off the mustache. First off, it's not true to the character and second, when it comes to growing convincing facial hair, I take after Ron Howard, not Marty.
Make sure to demand "a little piece of chicken" instead of candy when you're out knocking on doors tonight, and tell 'em Groucho sent you.