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Somewhere in heaven Billy Barty and Meinhardt Raabe are shaking their wee fists. When Little Oscar heard the news, he swerved the Wienermobile off an embankment while on his way to christen a new Piggly Wiggly in Littlestown, PA.

Eight vertically challenged thespians are out of work because Paramount Pictures in their stead decided to cast average sized actors to play opposite Kristen Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman.

It is an outrageous display of institutional sizism and one that brings me this-close to calling for a boycott of the film.

Would sensitive viewers tolerate a contemporary Hollywood release that features a Caucasian performer pulling a Jolson by smearing burnt cork across their face to mimic an African-American? (Okay, Robert Downey pulled it off in Tropic Thunder, but you know where I'm going with this.)

Does this shocking ad for Jerry Lewis' Hardly Working make your head swim? (Not Jerry's stereotypical depiction of a buck-toothed Asian fry-cook, but the fact that Germans shelled out $2,348,000 to see it.)

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What next? Richard Gere as a Jew? Wait a minute...there was that Clifford Irving biopic a few years back.

There are precious few roles to go around for little people and I for one want Marty Klebba to get as much work as possible. Don't let the Hollywood big shots dwarf his dream. Remember, if you outlaw little people as actors, only outlaws will play little people.

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Comments

FictionWriter May 30, 2012 @ 5:51 p.m.

I haven't thought of Billy Barty and the wiener mobile since I was a kid. I used to love his show, whatever it was. As for the wiener mobile, some neighbor kids and I were goofing off out in front of my house when the wiener mobile suddenly pulled up. A guy hopped out and gave us all weenie whistles. As far as we were concerned, it was like seeing Elvis because we had seen it on TV but never dreamed it would come to OUR neighborhood.

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Scott Marks May 30, 2012 @ 7:49 p.m.

I was 5 when the Wienermobile pulled into the parking lot of the Eagle Supermarket near my apartment in Chicago's West Rogers Park neighborhood. Little Oscar (once and future Munchkin Jerry Maren) and his wife Sonia (Mayer?) exited the phallic fiberglass roadster and made their way to the store's deli counter where they handed out free franks and highly coveted plastic wiener-whistles which were later found to result in choking if swallowed by children. I shook his hand as he slipped me the wiener and it freaked the hell out of me. They were both no bigger than my kindergarten mates, yet their puckered appearance reminded me of my grandparents. It was something out of "The Twilight Zone" or Superman's Bizarro universe. To this day I can't stand Oscar Mayer hot dogs, but I did take great delight in witnessing a Munchkin eat a hot dog at the 2006 SD County Fair. In his tiny hands the weenie looked like a Louisville Slugger resting in a giant bun. I'm sitting her crying from laughing so hard just thinking about it. On so many levels it remains one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life.

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Scott Marks June 1, 2012 @ 3:28 p.m.

That last photo looks like a scene from "The Hitcher."

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Ghost_of_dolores_hope May 31, 2012 @ 1:35 p.m.

Talking 'bout hotdogs, Chicago's Hot Dougs has set a new standard. They get lines around the block. Superdawg opened a giant location in Wheeling that's always empty.

Support the little peope!!:

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Scott Marks June 1, 2012 @ 3:27 p.m.

I don't mind the profanity, but when you demean my Chargers, them's fighting words!

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John71471 June 2, 2012 @ 12:29 a.m.

Downey pulled a Jolson in "Tropic Thunder", not "Pineapple Express". I know, I know. Same sht, different a*hole.

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Scott Marks June 2, 2012 @ 10:55 a.m.

Thanks, John. The post has been updated to reflect the correction. I'm either doing too many drugs or not enough.

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