Walter Mencken 7 p.m., Dec. 10
Well BRAAAAHM my BRAAAAHM, it's another movie about punching robots. I kind of hope it opens with a 2001-style bit that traces the development of human warfare, from cavemen punching each other, to one picking up a bone and using it as a club, to one standing at a distance and hurling a rock, and on from there to the sword, the bow, the catapult, the gun, the cannon, the plane, and finally, the intercontinental ballistic missile, a weapon that allows you to wreak astonishing destruction on your enemies from thousands of miles away at the press of a button. Then - record scratch - suddenly, we're back to punching. Only this time, we're doing it with super-cool giant robots.
I rather suspect that director Guillermo del Toro would be happy to acknowledge all his cultural debts for this one, which plays an awful lot like live action anime. (We already know he nabbed a famous video game voice for his computer system.) But let's do a little taxonomy anyway, shall we?
The chunky extend-o feet are the biggest echo here, but so is the whole idea of metal exoskeleton employed in hand-to-hand combat with an alien monster. What Aliens had going for it was that the loader was all Ripley had to work with. Here on earth, we have the aforementioned ICBMs; not sure why we need to go back to punching.
Monsters rising from the sea and destroying bridges!
Dual operators for a single entity!
Mustachioed captain Idris Elba!
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