Walter Mencken 11 a.m., May 24
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Headed for Splitsville?
Is Hollywood's favorite May/December romance on its last calendar page? After a six-year marriage made in tabloid heaven, rumors abound that Demi Moore is showing wandering-eyed Ashton Kutcher the door.
According to The Star, the couple, who have kept separate addresses for some time, are calling it quits over Ashton's alleged inability to stop spreading the pollen around. Last year, after hooking up with Kutcher at Hollywood's Lucky Strike bowling alley, 21-year-old commoner Brittney Jones delivered this kiss-and-tell front page bombshell to The Star:
Last Friday, Kutcher was spotted in San Diego at the fashionable Fluxx nightclub eyeballing the scantily-clad vendibles. According to the tabloid, "He looked nothing like a happily-married man."
What sets Demi and Ashton apart from the recent headline-grabbing celebrity breakups of JLo and Marc Anthony, Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins, and even Kat Von D and Jesse James (who seemed so right for each other)? At various fleeting moments in both their careers, Moore and Kutcher have proven their entertainment worth.
Think what you will of The Seventh Sign, Ghost, and Mortal Thoughts, Demi Moore comes through with star-turns in all three. She hasn't done much to distinguish herself artistically since working on the latter. Her career of late has flown beneath the radar of the multiplex crowd and some hint that she may be jealous of Kutcher's latest high-profile career move. (He's replacing whore-mongering Charlie Sheen on some network TV show.)
On a personally edifying note, St. Elmo's Fire, a towering turd, continues to provide more laughter than most intentional comedies. They're rich, they're young, they're beautiful, and they should all be spanked and sent to bed without their suppers.
Kutcher's case is a much harder one to defend. Far from a natural born light comedic actor, he was serviceable in shit like Dude, Where's My Car? and Guess Who, and is the only one actually trying to do some acting in Valentine's Day. The combination of Candid Camera ethos and the Jackass boys' blend of toxic pranks (with a celebrity element thrown in for extra sizzle), made Punk'd a welcome visitor in my home. The guy doesn't bother me.
Nothing on either Moore or Kutcher's Twitter pages makes mention of a separation.
More like this:
- When a Problem Comes Along, Demi Moore Must Whip-It — Jan. 26, 2012
- Bad Lot — Feb. 17, 2010
- King of Late Night (and other things) — June 6, 2009
- Jewel Asks Stranger to Kiss Posterior — May 24, 2007
- Few Thanks — Nov. 22, 2006