Don Bauder 9:30 p.m., March 30
Disney Announces Avatar: The Ride!
Years ago, a pair of side-by-side billboards sat overlooking Lankershim Blvd. where it dead-ends at Cahuenga. The one on the left was an advertisement for Schindler's List, the other ballyhoo for Universal Studios Theme Park.
A neck-snapping, traffic-stopping double-take worthy of Vernon Dent momentarily conjured images of ashen Mouseketeers, clad in striped-pajamas, tearing tickets as you board a Kindertransport that whisks you through an animatronic tour of the Lodz Ghetto. Was Oskar Schindler and the Temple of Doom: The Ride to be Burbank's answer to the Holocaust Museum?
Alas, there was to be no such attraction as good taste once again bested my ambling and decidedly diabolical imagination.
It didn't take much ingenuity to see this one coming. Academy Award-winning director James Cameron, his producing partner Jon Landau, and 20th Century Fox are teaming with Disney’s Imagineers to bring the biggest grossing film of all time to a theme park near you. We'll, not exactly near you. The multi-attraction, fantasy universe, still in its creative nascence, will eventually make its home at Walt Disney World's Animal Kingdom theme park in Orlando, Florida.
Didn't I already spend three hours in a polarized Pandora? We live in San Diego. Who the hell is running to Orlando? Let the Floridians have their fun! Just so they don't re-imagine any more theme park rides as movies. My heart can't stand another Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, or, gulp, The Country Bears.
[Source: Los Angeles Times.]
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- BREAKING! Black Jellyfish Heads Up Class-Action Lawsuit Against Avatar Director James Cameron — July 7, 2011
- What's the Matter(horn) with Disney's lack of Originality? — June 30, 2011
- New World Disorder — Dec. 16, 2009
- Theme Parks — Oct. 12, 2006