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The high concept: Boogie Nights was a surprisingly heartfelt drama set in the world of '70s porn, starring a young man with an enormous member. But times have changed, man. Nobody believes all that stuff about sexual excess taking its toll on the heart anymore, and we sure as shootin' don't need an after-school special about the dangers of cocaine. It's time for porno comedy! So we'll do a movie about a young man with an absolutely tiny member! Who becomes a star because he makes viewers feel better about themselves! But here's the funny part: We'll keep all kinds of elements from the original. Take a look:

You got yer youngster in a dead end job:

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You got yer faded star in a comeback performance as a porn director:

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You got yer crucial, career-making initial love scene with a redhead:

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You got yer bit player with wild hair:

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You got yer worldly success as represented by a fancy automobile:

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And you got yer nostalgia for the late, great world of pre-internet pornography:

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We can't lose!

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