Don Bauder 5:30 p.m., Dec. 5
As time passes, and my one-handed "dates" of yesteryear slowly move on to their rewards, I promise not to fill this blog with news of dead bunnies. Cynthia Myers was different. She was a "Doll."
Her airbrushed pulchritude and pronounced physical assets made her the darling of many a teenage boy with hyperactive hormones. Myers was 17 when she posed for Playboy (isn't there a law?), but kindly HH insisted they wait until she turned 18 to publish the pics. Forget about her time spent skinny-dipping in fossilized Hef's grotto. Ms. Myers was a true cross-over star who made the successful transition from gate-fold to bosom-gold when cast as Casey Anderson, bass player for the all-girl rock band the Carrie Nations, in Russ Meyer's towering, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
I was forced to take cover in the trunk of a car, that's how determined I was to see this movie. BVD earned a dreaded X-rating when it first premiered, and there was no other way for 15-year-old Scotty to study it, save for hiding in the trunk of older neighbor-kid Jeffrey Goldman's car in order to sneak past "security" at the Sunset Drive-In.
For those too full of themselves to have ever witnessed a film directed by the Sergei Eisenstein of soft core porn, Russ had this thing for large-breasted women. When asked how he found these anomalies and curiosities of bosomania to star in his productions, Russ generally replied, "After a certain cup size, they find me." I was fortunate enough to enjoy a steak dinner while seated next to Russ. It was the only time in my life where I was grateful that my dinner companion had the good taste to elbow me, motion towards the waitress, and with a wink of the eye say, "Great tits, huh?"
Learning at the foot of The Master!
More than likely it was one of Hefner's bimbos, not the pajama-ed paleolith, who posted the following obit on Twitter: “I’m saddened by the news of the passing of beloved Playmate Cynthia Myers, Miss December 1968.” On second thought, given that lack of typos and spelling errors, maybe Hef did compose it.
Steve Sullivan's profile piece, posted on Ms. Myer's website, provides more than sufficient biographical information. Cynthia Meyers was 61 and the cause of her death has not been released. Thanks for the mammaries!
More like this:
- Coming Soon: Titanic Sinking in 3D at a Theater Near You! — Nov. 22, 2011
- The Title or Trailer Game 2: The New Batch — Nov. 7, 2011
- Dig A Hole: Charles Napier, Russ Meyer & Jonathan Demme Staple — Oct. 7, 2011
- Never Mind The Muppets, Here's Starship! — Aug. 8, 2011
- Never mind the Killer Elite, here's the Scorpions! — Aug. 4, 2011