Garrett Harris 6 p.m., Aug. 27
De Niro to Play Bernie Madoff in TV Movie
Robert De Niro had a lot in common with Bernie "I Screwed Spielberg" Madoff. For the past 15 years, Bobby D. has made off with bushels of moviegoers money in exchange for dirt like Stardust, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Hide and Seek, and a string of Focking dismal Ben Stiller comedies. (Mr. De Niro can currently be seen wandering through Killer Elite.)
The laziest actor in Hollywood is about to portray the most hated man in America.
In happier times.
When was the last time you exited a De Niro film thinking, "You know, maybe he is America's greatest actor?" Was it Casino or possibly Jackie Brown? The statute of limitations is this close to running out, Travis, and now your latest scary career move is a made-for-TV biopic?! Oooohh! Look how they make you look. Like a bum. Like a mamaluke. The mamaluke of Tribeca!
HBO will produce Truth and Consequences: Life Inside the Madoff Family, based on the book written by Madoff's son, Andrew. I watched the old harridan, Mrs. Madoff on the television last night. Is there anyone alive who really believes this bird wasn't hip to her breadwinner's glorified Ponzi scheme? First book residuals, next movie rights. How much more money do we need throw this family's way? Go find another comic book to star in, Bobby, and leave these pigs to their fate.
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