5 a.m., April 16
Osama bin Laden, Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You!
This didn't take long. Less than one month after Osama bin Laden succumbed to ballistic trauma, Columbia Pictures has acquired the rights to a big screen biopic.
According to a studio press release, Oscar®-winners Kathryn Bigelow and Mark Boal, director and screenwriter of The Hurt Locker, "have been developing the project since 2008 and plan to incorporate recent events into the film." Imagine if, instead of being dunked in the deep, OBL had been given a proper burial. They could have named it The Dirt Locker.
The big question remains: Who will land the coveted role of newly departed poster boy for communal hate? With the right amount of Max Factor, Sir Ben Kingsley or John Turturro could pass for the modern-day Hitler. And what about SCTV's Eugene Levy giving his eyebrows a workout as the former Hide-and-Seek world champion?
If this clicks at the box office, can The Farrelly Brothers' Abbottabad and Costello Meet Osama bin Laden be far off? The soon-to-be-titled film will be released in the United States late in 2012.
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