Ian Anderson 6 p.m., March 7
10 Ways for Michele Bachmann to Tell the Difference Between John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy
While out stumping in Waterloo, Iowa, Republican presidential wannabe Michele Bachmann compared her character to that of legendary right-wing movie star John Wayne. She told a reporter for Fox News, "John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa," and "that's the kind of spirit that I have, too," in running for president.
The Duke was born nearly 150 miles away in Winterset, Iowa. It was serial murderer John Wayne Gacy (aka Pogo the Killer Clown) who lived, for a time, in Waterloo.
It's an easy mistake to make. Here are ten ways to help the Tea Party handshaker differentiate between John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy.
10) The only thing John Wayne ever killed was a case of booze.
9) John Wayne Gacy never portrayed Genghis Khan.
8) John Wayne “killed” in Circus World. Pogo the clown killed.
7) John Wayne starred in In Harm’s Way. John Wayne Gacy put 33 lives in harm’s way.
6) John Wayne remains one of Hollywood’s most beloved movie stars. John Wayne Gacy left behind human remains.
5) John Wayne starred in They Were Expendable. John Wayne Gacy lived it.
4) The prosecution argued that Gacy was sane. Savvy critics judged Rooster Cogburn insane.
3) John Wayne Gacy’s mother’s first name was Marion. John Wayne’s real first name was Marion.
2) In his home, The Duke always liked to keep his thermostat set at a comfortable temperature. In John Wayne Gacy’s crawlspace, it was 26 below.
1) She can’t tell a Gacy from a Duke. Michele Bachmann is an idiot.
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