Good God. I know that all musicians and "artistes" are supposed to be self-obsessed to the point of nausea, but this has really got to stop. Musician and epically prodigious horndog John Mayer has such a fetish for his own feet that he just can't decide which of them to stick in his mouth at any given moment, it seems.

John Mayer Playboy Interview

"‘I think the world would be better off if I stopped doing interviews,’ he said." Aaaaaand then he doesn't, of course. My prediction: Pigs may fly loop-de-loops and armageddon may transpire in 2012, but it won't stop John Mayer from celebrating MeFest 365 days a year. His insatiable need for attention of any and all kinds simply will not allow it.

It's a matter of physics, you see. John Mayer IS a black hole of neediness. Therefore, he will escape the black hole that the Earth and the rest of us collapse into by simply sucking back.

On second thought, he'll probably just try to f* it.

Comments

SDaniels Feb. 12, 2010 @ 11:35 a.m.

Hee hee. Normally, I wouldn't give him a brain cell, but you are encouraging me to actually click that link.

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antigeekess Feb. 12, 2010 @ 11:37 a.m.

Yeah, it doesn't work. Still fixing.

Damn, you're fast.

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SDaniels Feb. 12, 2010 @ 12:39 p.m.

He's full of himself, alright. While his belief that "32" means general freedom and exploration, and not taking responsibility for what he's done, is kinda sad (like he's holding on to 22), his honesty about a lot of topics, and about being selfish and masturbatory, is pretty cool.

These are my two favorite excerpts. Here's what I'm talking about with the self-delusion about being "32":

"Then she asked if anyone in the audience had “a project titled Everlasting Love With an Adult, Stable Male.” It seems as if she was referring to you.

MAYER: I imagine I’ve got something to do with that. Parts of me aren’t 32. My ability to go deep with somebody is old soul. My ability to commit and be faithful is old soul. But 32 just comes roaring out of me at points when I don’t see it coming. I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen."

Love this first sentence:

"I have a hard time not looking at anxiety disorder as being like an ATM. I can invent things really well. I mean, I have unbelievable orgasms alone. They’re always the best. They always end the way I want them to end. And I have such an ability to make believe, I can almost project something onto my wall, watch it and get off to it: sexually, musically, it doesn’t matter. When I meet somebody, I’m in a situation in which I can’t run it because another person is involved. That means letting someone else talk, not waiting for them to remind you of something interesting you had in mind.

PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?

MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32. This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.

PLAYBOY: You’d rather jerk off to an ex-girlfriend than meet someone new?

MAYER: Yeah. What that explains is that I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery. The best days of my life are when I’ve dreamed about a sexual encounter with someone I’ve already been with. When that happens, I cannot lay off myself."

You have to admit--honest. "Honest to a fault" now makes sense. I'm just glad I'm not dating him anymore! ;)

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antigeekess Feb. 12, 2010 @ 2:21 p.m.

Haha. Yeah, we're both well shut of him. Whinging wanker.

;)

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 2:26 p.m.

Sexual napalm??? I want to see that sex tape!!!

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antigeekess Feb. 12, 2010 @ 3:08 p.m.

Hey, mah girl Jess IS from TEXAS, ya know. ;)

As for Jessica's response: http://www.tmz.com/2010/02/11/jessica-simpson-laughs-off-mayer-comments/4

snicker Nothing quite like rocking the world of a self-proclaimed "sexpert."

I mean, I would suppose it would be sort of gratifying, I guess. I wouldn't actually KNOW, of course...

;)

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SDaniels Feb. 12, 2010 @ 4:17 p.m.

I think that TMZ site has herpes, and I refuse to click on it. You'll have to reproduce her response here if you want me to read and respond with verve and wit. ;)

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 4:28 p.m.

TMZ always freezes my computer so try never to go there, unless absolutely (Clay Aiken) necessary. ;)

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 4:31 p.m.

In the interest of full disclosure, I was once a groupie, for about a minute. My best friend and I followed this one band around, ...

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MsGrant Feb. 12, 2010 @ 6:28 p.m.

Oh, yeah? Well, this one time at band camp...

Gasp! Cuddles, what band? Oh, please, kiss and tell!

Mayer is such a jerk. I've never liked him, always found him to be a phony. He tries too hard to be deep and comes across sounding dumb. "I'm still masturbating while I'm having sex"?!?? I think he is thinking about himself.

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 7:16 p.m.

LOLOLOL Just some local band, my best friend and I had seen them at some hotel bar we had gone to (we went to so many around that time I couldn't tell you which one) in Mission Valley, she fell for the bass guitarist, found out where they were playing, and it just went from there. Girl, we went to just about every bar, dive, hotel, motel, Holiday Inn, following that band. The rest of what happened, well, those aren't my secrets to tell. :)

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MsGrant Feb. 12, 2010 @ 8:06 p.m.

Ha, ha! I had my cover band boyfriend, too. It was in the eighties and they sang songs like "Easy Lover" and "My House". Same gigs, hotels, motels, bars and dives. But I was strangely proud to be the girlfriend of the lead singer/guitarist, because, as you well know, there were plenty of girls who would love to take that spotlight from you. Remember those hotel happy hours back then? Oh, my God, we never paid for food!!

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 8:28 p.m.

My God MsG, you don't suppose .... Nooooooooooo .......

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MsGrant Feb. 12, 2010 @ 8:51 p.m.

Ha, ha - that would be funny!! But I think we may have been a dime a dozen back then. But just special enough....

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 8:57 p.m.

Such a strange time. You're right about the happy hours...

Oh and remember the clothes we used to wear? And the things we did to our hair, my God!

Oh, oh, and the girls in the bathroom!!!!!!

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MsGrant Feb. 12, 2010 @ 9:02 p.m.

Oh, my hair was blond, long and HUGE! I had over one hundred belts in all colors, those big ones that you belted your tunic at the hip over leggings with the short, high-heeled boots. We were in the bathroom back then, all right. ALOT.

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 9:09 p.m.

Oh, my, God, I was going to mention the belts and boots in my last post!!!! Sister girl!!!!

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MsGrant Feb. 12, 2010 @ 9:13 p.m.

I was a serious Madonna-wanna-be, until about 1986, when I discovered The Cure and The Smiths. I then switched to the cutoff jeans with black tights, Doc Martens, and polka dot sheer shirt look. Such a lemming. But I did not miss the acid-washed zippered peg-leg jeans with the little bows!!

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 9:21 p.m.

Oh Em Gee. The pants with the bows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How effin hot stuff sexy were we??????????????

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SDaniels Feb. 12, 2010 @ 9:24 p.m.

re: #19: Sounds like we could have hung out, Grant ;)

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CuddleFish Feb. 12, 2010 @ 9:29 p.m.

OOOOoooooohhhhh wait, wait, wait ....

Do you remember, for a brief time there, the cotton camisole look, you know, frilly white cotton blouses, dresses that sort of looked like Victorian undergarments?

And there was some brand, can't remember now, but these beautiful dresses in block colors ...

That was my favorite era in clothing...

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SDaniels Feb. 13, 2010 @ 2:45 a.m.

The frilly blouses, circa 1983, were to be paired with long 'cowgirl' 'prairie' skirts, boots, and the ubiquitous 80s low slung metal studded belt.

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MsGrant Feb. 13, 2010 @ 7:39 a.m.

It was called Gunne Sax. I had several Gunne Sax dresses and blouses. Some were very high-necked, others dangerously low-cut. They had the poofy sleeves that then gathered in tightly at the wrist with about a four inch buttoned cuff. Sometimes the dresses were corset style laced in the front. The summer dresses were sleeveless. They all were really tight around the waist. I rocked this looked in high school, circa 1980. Victorian was exactly what they were. There was a Gunne Sax outlet in San Francisco where we would go to stock up.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=25678693075#!/photo.php?pid=30422274&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=25678693075&aid=-1&id=1287213040&oid=25678693075 http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35770677

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CuddleFish Feb. 13, 2010 @ 8:40 a.m.

I loved that clothing! Also Esprit, and Santa Cruz!

Oh, and do you remember LA Gear sneakers???? With the multiple laces???

And Candy slides??

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MsGrant Feb. 13, 2010 @ 8:51 a.m.

Candies!! The precursor to stripper heels!! We wore the Reebok leather high-tops with scrunchy socks. Don't forget Hang Ten, Dittos and OP!!

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CuddleFish Feb. 13, 2010 @ 9:39 a.m.

Girl, we was some stylin' hot groupies, wasn't we? :)

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MsGrant Feb. 13, 2010 @ 10:09 a.m.

Do you remember Chemin De Fer jeans? These were super slutty, but all the rage in the late '70s to early '80s. Big bells, skin tight - some had zippers that went from front to back, leather lace ups, buckles in the back, and they came in white as well. I LOVED those jeans.

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CuddleFish Feb. 13, 2010 @ 11:07 a.m.

LOL I remember them, ...

I remember there was this girl, Desiree, who was so beautiful, tall and thin and blonde with that great hair and haircut, she used to wear these beautiful outfits from Charlotte Russe, and spikey heels, and talked like a Valley Girl, I thought she was the epitome of California Girl.

I took her to this lounge one night, where all the lawyers in San Diego hang out, we had such a good time. :)

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SDaniels Feb. 13, 2010 @ 12:58 p.m.

re: #25:

Ah yes, every girl in my family had some variation of this one, which is really a reworking of the 1970s obsession with a “Renaissance” look:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30421384&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=25678693075&aid=-1&oid=25678693075&id=1287213040

This is what I’m talking about with the “prairie” look, worn with cowboy boots. We had frilled blouses like this, too:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30422265&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=25678693075&aid=-1&oid=25678693075&id=1287213040

And here, she’s wearing this one (gorgeous! Love it!) with the boots:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30422253&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=25678693075&aid=-1&oid=25678693075&id=1287213040

Confession: Around age 12, I also wore the LA Gear and Reebok high tops with the FLORESCENT scrunchy socks and laces to match--and a hair scrunchy to match. I believe I may have hung trinkets from my high top laces, including a keychain-sized troll doll. (Wince). ;)

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SDaniels Feb. 13, 2010 @ 1 p.m.

Fixed: "fluorescent"

It's been a long time since I've used this word, understandably ;)

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SDaniels Feb. 13, 2010 @ 1:05 p.m.

And: Does anyone remember the obsession with peach and mint, and all of the variations of shades of this duo?

We wore peach and mint--I had peach and mint DOVE shorts, and peach and mint pairs of JELLIES (made by Candies, of course).

Product packaging appeared in peach and mint.

Even architecture picked it up: All of the yogurt places were peach and mint, and even apartment complexes and office buildings were big peach and mint blocks. This was in Orange County, early or mid-80s, I think.

This was contemporaneous with the high top craze, or just after it...definitely after the rockabilly phase.

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CuddleFish Feb. 13, 2010 @ 1:17 p.m.

Peach and mint shudder

Mercy Hospital is still suffering from that period decor, although lately they have been remodelling, I see.

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MsGrant Feb. 13, 2010 @ 1:42 p.m.

Oh, my God!! I had those boots in the last photo. Suede Zodiacs!! They had that metal tip at the toes, and mine were the scrunched up leather ones what went over the knee and then you folded that part down. I wore mine with a courdoroy dark blue jumpsuit. Remember when one-pieces where popular? I had another in red with black marks shot through it. That was a popular color scheme as well. Yes, I totally remember the cowboy boot, prairie look phase. How did we have so many fashion trends packed into one decade? Seems impossible now. THE DOVE SHORTS! One quarter in the back was one color and the opposite front quarter was the same color and vice-versa with another color for the other quarters!! Oh, God, that color scheme - all our furniture was that awful lacquer peach or mauve and that green mint you talk about. I also wore fluorescent, until the same person that turned me on to The Smiths also gave me this gem of advice - "just say no to day-glo".

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PistolPete Feb. 13, 2010 @ 7:43 p.m.

The only thing I really remember from that era were hightop BKs.

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antigeekess Feb. 13, 2010 @ 8:59 p.m.

You guys go ahead and keep confessing. I'll just sit here and pretend I wasn't eeeeeven around back then.

Thank God I've always been camera shy. No pictures. Didn't happen.

:)

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PistolPete Feb. 13, 2010 @ 10:21 p.m.

I'm sure you looked just as ridiculous as we did, AG. You're not getting off that easy. ;-D

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MsGrant Feb. 14, 2010 @ 12:08 a.m.

Vee half our vaaays of vinding vuss, AG!

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nan shartel Feb. 17, 2010 @ 12:08 p.m.

bless u...bless u..bless u.....can't we just remove his larynx and be thru with him

then the lil s*** would probably learn sign language

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nan shartel Feb. 17, 2010 @ 12:11 p.m.

i didn't watch the interview because it "just more information then i need to know"...hahahahahahahahaha

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Robert Johnston Feb. 25, 2010 @ 11:56 a.m.

You know that you hit rock bottom as a celeb when Courtney Love "tweets" about not wanting you in bed with her at anytime!(heard about that on Rock 105.3FM).

"Sexual napalm?" Sounds more like somebody should drop a tank of napalm on him--talk about feeling the burn!

A true "Peter Pan Syndrome" kind of fellow...or is it the "Toys 'R Us Kid" syndrome here? Doesn't want to grow up, so he runs his trap as if he were in a junior-high school boy's locker room...and the Playboy readers were his buddies!

Yeesh!

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