Following campaign stop in Vista, Bernie Sanders hunts down and kills wild investment banker at the San Diego Safari Park
Walter Mencken 2 p.m., May 26
"Maybe after the Supreme Court upholds gay marriage, we'll have the courage to stamp out zoophobia."
San Diego State University Aboriginal Studies major Brad Wolf is used to being called a freak. He's used to being shunned by people who hate him because he's different. He's used to being told that his behavior is "unnatural," nothing more than a perverted "lifestyle choice."
But to hear Wolf tell it, he can't help the fact that he finds himself sexually attracted to his longtime companion, a chocolate Labrador named Rex. And that's why he can't understand why he was refused entry into last Wednesday's Lavender Graduation at SDSU. The ceremony, now in its fourth year, celebrates students who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, or asexual, as well as those who are allies of LGBTQIA people. But while "queer" serves as an umbrella term for people who don't subscribe to the heteronormative, cisgendered model of mammalian sexuality, it apparently doesn't include zoophiles. "I guess there are still some folks that everybody thinks it's okay to hate," concludes Wolf.
"It just doesn't make sense," he continues. "I mean, we can designate animals as beneficiaries in our wills. We have extensive codes of law protecting animals from abuse. Churches bless animals. Hell, we're even treating dogs for PTSD now. We work with animals, we live with animals, we play with animals, we bury animals in cemeteries. We employ animals as companions and helpers, and we let animals entertain us. But when it comes to loving animals, suddenly they're second-class citizens. It may be okay to sleep with my dog, but for some reason, it's not okay to 'sleep with' my dog. Because why again? Because some religion condemns it? Because of tradition? Then I guess we can go ahead and re-criminalize sodomy."
"People tell me that Rex can't give consent," argues Wolf. "Or that I'm hurting him somehow. But I love Rex; I would never hurt him. And trust me, when he's got the itch and he decides to come after me, consent is simply not an issue for him. He's an adult, and he wants what he wants."
"Team Gregory," he concludes. The name is a reference to WNYW weatherman Nick Gregory; when anchorman Ernie Anastos told him on-air in September of 2009 to "Keep fucking that chicken," Gregory replied "Okay, I'll do that." Though Gregory has denied being a zoophile, his statement has made him an unofficial figurehead for the zoophile community. "He's our Dorothy," explains Wolf. "We're not in Kansas any more."
SDSU officials did not respond to requests for comment.