7:45 p.m., June 29
Existence of Higgs boson particle confirmed
Particle renamed Filner-Higgs boson in honor of Mayor who led to sigma 5 level of certainty regarding the so-called god particle
Large Hadron Collider technician: "We weren't 100% sure the particle existed, but then it started calling for Mayor Filner to resign."
"I do a fair amount to sustain the existence of the material universe," said the particle in a prepared statement, "and so I feel it is both my right and my duty to join with the many other voices calling for the immediate resignation of Mayor Filner. Voices such as the San Diego Association of Farmers Markets, Mayors Against Groping People In Effing Stairwells (MAGPIES), United Auto Workers Branch #213, the Sierra Club, Monsanto, and the People's Republic of China. The time has come to speak out."
More like this:
- Filner, Goldsmith slated to meet tomorrow — Aug. 18, 2013
- Faulconer: "There's a land called France, where the naked ladies dance..." — July 22, 2013
- NYC Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner: "Bob Filner is a model mayor." — July 15, 2013
- We are being bullied into accepting a resignation from Filner: This is not a dictatorship — July 13, 2013
- Big Bang Theory — July 5, 2012