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Veteran San Diego Pimp Unite to Decries Proposition 35, But Also Decries Child Sex Trafficking

"If you outlaw pimping, then only outlaws will be pimps."

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DOWNTOWN, A LITTLE AFTER 2 A.M., JUST LOOKING FOR SOME COMPANY - "Like the man said, 'Pimpin' ain't easy,'" says the Reverend Doctor Silk Sugar, a San Diego pimp with over 20 years of experience and 35 hos in his stable at any given time. "But if Prop 35 passes, it's going to get a whole lot harder than it ever was before."

California's Proposition 35, while will go before voters in the fall, seeks to retard the rapidly growing "child sex trafficking" end of the pimping business by greatly increasing the legal and financial penalties for those convicted of exploiting children for fun and profit. But, says Sugar, the proposition's sweeping language means that many "innocent pimps" will be placed at risk if the measure passes.

"Nine years ago," explains Sugar, "the FBI identified San Diego as a 'High Intensity Child Prostitution Area,' and that's a damn shame, no doubt. Nobody wants to see a 13-year-old working National City's other 'Mile of Cars.' Well, some people do, but that doesn't mean it's right. But 'high-intensity' is a relative term, you know? Even if only 90 percent of local pimps are not selling underripe fruit - well, you know what they say about one bad apple."

Mixed metaphors aside, Sugar has serious concerns about what Prop 35 could mean, not just for honest, hardworking citizen pimps, but for the entertainment industry as a whole. "Suddenly," he muses, "it's like it's a crime to profit from someone else's labor. That's just ridiculous. A pimp is like an agent, or a manager. Justin Bieber was just some kid with a YouTube account before Scooter Braun found him and made him into a sensation. That kind of focus and direction is exactly what a good pimp can provide, freeing up the ho to work on the things that make her attractive to the consumer. We take care of business so she can take care of your business, you know? You take your average 17-year old hottie who's decided to work the street. What does she really know about the ins and outs of her chosen profession? How is she going to protect herself - from financial shenanigans, from legal entanglements, even from actual violence at the hands of some wackadoodle client? Pimps are a vital part of of the sex-worker ecosystem, and Prop 35 places them in harm's way."

Finally, says Sugar, "California is facing a serious economic crisis. The old economic model isn't working. But the oldest economic model is working - like gangbusters. What is needed now is not some goodhearted but misguided attempt by a busybody government to regulate human desire, but a commonsense approach that will see pimping turned into a legitimate, taxable, regulatable business."

"Pimps for Romney, 2012!" Sugar concluded.

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Comments

Erin7 Oct. 5, 2012 @ 4:48 p.m.

So "SUGAR" do you fricking pay taxes? so you are saying that a 17 year old "Hottie" is okay" but not the 13 year old right? what about the parents that you dirt bags take these kids from, what about the families that suffer once you put their daughters out on the street like cattle? what about those moms who hit the streets and search for their kids or pimps like your sorry A$$ to get their little girls back. You are a sorry member of society and probably can guess your race too. Get a real job and leave our kids alone! you have no right to take them away from their families and brand them. use and abuse them and take their money this is NOT a real job, there is NO good that can come of it .. oh wait, you get new ghetto clothes right, ghetto car oh and wait... what about being in possession of the wrong mothers kid, you know the one with a license to carry and NO reason NOT to use it.. She may be called oh wait for it... "an officer of the law" get you dirty A$$ ahold of HER kid and well you live in a dirty world, fill in the blanks you dirty sick bastered!

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tomjohnston Oct. 5, 2012 @ 5:51 p.m.

Hey erin7 You did read the "Almost Factual News" header, right??? Mencken gets someone almost every time. LOL

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SurfPuppy619 Oct. 5, 2012 @ 7:54 p.m.

Oh Erin, that was the biggest smack down EVER!!! The only problem is the article is a joke, satire....... bringing the funny..........although I must say, bringing the funny with child prostitution may have crossed the line-Walter!

Carry on Erin, I want you on MY SIDE!

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