San Diego Reader

A judge has released lists of items found during the investigation of a water-gun battle that caused structural damage to Balboa Park's Lily Pond on August 12.

The cars and home and toy chest of event organizer Matthew Hardick were all searched, as were the artisanal reclaimed-hardwood storage units of numerous hipsters. All of the defendants have pleaded not guilty to the willful destruction of City Property and the deliberate disturbance of a protected species.

Water Warriors-brand Colossus water gun:

Nerf Super-Soaker-brand Lightningstorm water gun:

X-Tend-O-brand garden hose and nozzle:

"No-Tie" style water balloons (all water balloons sold in the state of California are required to tie at the top):

400+ 4" snub-nosed water squirters:

Koi-Boy-brand fishing net:

"We have our detective unit working 'round the clock on this one," said Police Chief Bozo McTripp. "We even sent some boys down to the Reader to find out what those ne'er-do-wells knew about this whole thing."