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Chargers Head Coach and quarterback disembowel selves in hopes of atoning for atrocious play-calling and execution.

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Statement: "We have dishonored our beloved Chargers and their fans in front of the entire nation, during prime time viewing hours. We die in the hopes that our blood will purge the shame of blowing a 24-point lead at halftime. Let our infamy die with us, and do not let it taint our team's post-season chances."

In addition, team management has announced that the entire Chargers cheerleading squad will be sacrificed to the elder gods Acee and Canepa, in hopes of appeasing their wrath. "We just hope there's a virgin in there somewhere," says Cheer Coach C. Jane Bounce.

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Comments

tomjohnston Oct. 18, 2012 @ 2:57 p.m.

Speaking as someone who had their team leave for those proverbial greener pastures, I'm quite certain that I would rather have no team than this team. Please Mr. Spanos, IF the L.A. stadium ever comes to fruition, don't stay away mad, just stay away. LOL

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