Jay Allen Sanford 7 p.m., March 29
SD on the QT Investigation Reveals California Gas Prices Tied to Single Viejas Slot Machine
"Someone hit the triple-bar jackpot on two consecutive pulls last week. And now the rest of you are paying for it."
GAMBLING WITH OUR FUTURE?
GATHERING 'ROUND A COUNCIL FIRE FUELED BY HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILLS, VIEJAS - "I think the best part is watching people try to figure out the real reason behind the price fluctuations," said Bill Burningcash, head of Casino Operations at Viejas. "Rising demand from developing economies, refinery problems, limited supply, Mideast tensions - really, it's hilarious. Any of these reasons could be true, but there's no way to tell, apparently. Because if there was, people might realize that none of them are true. They might figure out that it's all up to One-Arm Wanda - that's my name for the third slot-machine from the end in the back row."
Pressed for an account of how and why he engineered his dastardly plan, Burningcash just smiled and said, "You people really should have listened when we complained about the Sunrise Powerlink."
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