Papa Doug's daily looks to maximize appeal by "combining the popular Sports and Leisure sections and moving them to the front pages of the paper. The SLU-T puts the stuff you love on full display on street corners all over San Diego."

"It's all about being user-friendly and offering a pleasurable, cost-effective experience to the consumer."

SNICKERING IN AN ENTIRELY UNPROFESSIONAL MANNER, MISSION VALLEY - Papa Doug Manchester announced today that, "after extensive analysis of sales data, web traffic, and customer opinion, we have determined that the chief reasons people pick up the newspaper are the sports pages and the funnies. We thought about simply moving the funnies to the sports pages and ditching the rest of the leisure section (which is where the funnies currently reside). But apparently, the Copley family's terms of sale required that we keep the Bridge column in perpetuity, so we opted to keep roll the whole leisure section into the sports pages and call the result 'Sports & Leisure.' You know, like the orange wedge in Trivial Pursuit."

But before the new section could be implemented, said Manchester, "one of the boys in marketing pointed out that we were, to use a newspaper term, burying the lead. Grocery stores can afford to put the meat and dairy in the back, because people are going to buy them no matter what. But we have to recognize that people have a variety of options when it comes to media consumption, and so we need to put our best foot forward. And maybe show a little leg while we do it. That's why we're becoming the SLU-T - because we think it will make us popular."