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Lakeside Officials Promise Full Investigation Following Dog Attack on Girl Walking to School


Back Country Sheriff Roscoe T. Scruggtickle: "First, we need to determine why a girl was attempting to go to school in the first place. Were there no chores to be done at home? Second, we need to know why she was walking around unarmed. Did her parents never teach her about legal means of self-defense? Third, we have to determine whether or not she provoked the dog - say, by wearing a shirt with a duck on it. A Labrador can't help how he's trained."

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nan shartel May 23, 2012 @ 3:08 p.m.

this is funny Mencken...but not funny enuff to assuage the fear and physical pain a little girl had to go thru by being attacked by 3 dogs...2 of them large

I know it's almost factual...but it's just not a topic to create a comedy riff from


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