Don Bauder 9:30 p.m., March 25
Sinaloa Cartel Opens "Foie Gras Feeding Tube" Into U.S.
Underground Pipeline Will Carry Banned Foodstuff Across Mexican Border and Into American Bellies
Cartel underling: "It's not like we're force-feeding them; we're just sating an appetite. Americans seem to lack the natural gag reflex that would tell them to stop eating this incredibly fatty liver preparation. And now that it's illegal in California, they're willing to pay us for the privilege."
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