Garrett Harris 4 p.m., July 31
A Tip of the Hat
Well, perhaps we ought not to have used "tip," but still...sometimes, you have to admit when you're beaten. Nothing we can do today will top this story in the Manchester Messenger: "Jury awards man with penis injury $7.5 million." Our only regret is that the award was as big as it was, otherwise, we might have been able to use this...
"Matthew Wall...A man barely a man. Gentleman, we can rebuild him...but shorter than he was before."
Special kudos to the comments section, which features this perfect gem of an exchange:
You stay classy, San Diego.
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