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The 9th Circuit Court of Federal Appeals today issued a decision rejecting Proposition 8's Constitutional ban on gay marriage in California. However, it also left in place a stay on gay marriage put in place by a lower court, pending the inevitable appeal from Prop 8 proponents.

"There is no legal justification for Prop 8's denial of the term 'marriage' for gay and lesbian couples" wrote Justice Rhinehart in a private email to his golf buddies. "But we're gonna leave the moratorium in place because, ew, sodomy. What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom can get pretty gross."

However, in a more public email written to the gay-rights group California State Homosexual Oppression Watch and Business Interest Zone [Cal-SHOWBIZ], Rhinehart struck a slightly different note. "We're hoping that, now that we've issued this ruling in support of their rights, California's gays will stop going on and on about marriage - an institution that is intimately bound up with sexual behavior, including the icky kind that gay men practice - and instead focus on what makes them truly valuable and distinctive members of society: producing quality entertainment for the masses. Theater, dance, fashion, even television and movies - all of it relies heavily on the wit and sass of the gay community, and frankly, this Prop 8 thing has had many gays distracted lately. At least, that's the impression I get from a hot mess like season two of Glee."

In related news, Prop 8 supporters estimate that they should have an appeal on Rhinehart's decision ready sometime around the year 2180.

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Comments

Radical Uterus Feb. 7, 2012 @ 4:46 p.m.

I'm so happy. I can marry a woman some day. This is a great day for bi-sexuals.

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