Ed Bedford 11:44 p.m., June 19
Thanks to Local Company, Dick Clark Will Not Have to Miss His Own Funeral
Recently Deceased Showbiz Legend to Host ABC Special Honoring His Life and Work Via Tupac-Style Hologram
Denis Leary quips: "Hologram? More like Holo-grampa, am I right?"
AV CONCEPTS ZOMBIE LAB, DEEP UNDERGROUND, SAN DIEGO - It didn't take long for the jokes to start zipping across the Internet: "Have a hologram of Dick Clark host New Year's Eve!" But for once, even Twitter was too slow to catch on to the truth: thanks to round-the-clock efforts from local effects company AV Concepts, Hologram Dick Clark is set to host an hour-long memorial tribute to himself this Saturday night on ABC.
"We had been working on a plan to send a 21-year-old Madonna on tour with an 18-year-old Britney Spears this summer," says AV Concepts' Chief Re-Animator Jeffery Combs, "but now, that may have to wait until 2013. "The opportunity was just too good to pass up - with all the buzz still humming about Tupac at Coachella, we've got a chance to break into living-room culture by resurrecting the greatest TV host in history for one last gig. After that, who knows? In these troubled times, I'll bet people wouldn't mind hearing a few more speeches from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Or Ronald Reagan."
"If we pull this off," mused Combs, "people are going to start wondering if the 'AV' in 'AV Concepts' stands for 'Afterlife Visibility.'"