Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Slut Walk Devolves into Rape Run

Pictured: sluts fleeing overenthusiastic supporters of their slut lifestyle.

It was supposed to be a triumph for women eager to reclaim their sexuality from the threat of sexual violence. But sadly, Slut Walk San Diego went horribly awry as some 50 men, many of whom claimed to be unable to control their animal urges when presented with such a plenitude of hot female flesh, plunged into the crowd of over 2000 sluts in a quest for sexual gratification, consensual or otherwise. Dozens of arrests have been made, and police say it may be weeks before all the snatched panties have been returned to their rightful owners.

When this reporter questioned the wisdom of the sluts' decision to steer their march past both the county jail and the Convention Center during the annual gathering of Sexaholics Anonymous, one of the more vocal sluts replied, "Don't you get it? That's just the point! It doesn't matter if we put on thigh-high f--k-me boots with five-inch stiletto heels, slather our naked bodies in baby oil and then teeter and drip our way down SDSU's fraternity row on a Saturday night! We are not asking to be raped!"

"Oh, sister, you don't have to ask!" cried out two-time rapist Bruno Bruskewicz as police officers dragged him to the ground and tased him.

Meanwhile, sexual addict Mark "Tiger" Woods sat on a curb, nursing a sensitive region which had been repeatedly kicked and weeping softly. "Right in the middle of my speech," he sobbed. "I was at the podium, and I had just gotten to the part where I said that thanks to SA, I don't think I'd lose control now unless something like 500 sluts just happened to walk by. And then BLAMMO. I just lost it. Oh, God, I hate myself."

Despite the setback, Slut Walk organizers pledged to keep slutting it up all over town. "We will not be slut-shamed, slut-silenced, or otherwise prevented from owning our sluttiness," declared a slut who identified herself only as Fierce.

Reached for comment, Beavis and Butthead expressed their support for the sluts:

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Melissa Etheridge, The Imaginary Amazon

Events April 1-April 3, 2024

Pictured: sluts fleeing overenthusiastic supporters of their slut lifestyle.

It was supposed to be a triumph for women eager to reclaim their sexuality from the threat of sexual violence. But sadly, Slut Walk San Diego went horribly awry as some 50 men, many of whom claimed to be unable to control their animal urges when presented with such a plenitude of hot female flesh, plunged into the crowd of over 2000 sluts in a quest for sexual gratification, consensual or otherwise. Dozens of arrests have been made, and police say it may be weeks before all the snatched panties have been returned to their rightful owners.

When this reporter questioned the wisdom of the sluts' decision to steer their march past both the county jail and the Convention Center during the annual gathering of Sexaholics Anonymous, one of the more vocal sluts replied, "Don't you get it? That's just the point! It doesn't matter if we put on thigh-high f--k-me boots with five-inch stiletto heels, slather our naked bodies in baby oil and then teeter and drip our way down SDSU's fraternity row on a Saturday night! We are not asking to be raped!"

"Oh, sister, you don't have to ask!" cried out two-time rapist Bruno Bruskewicz as police officers dragged him to the ground and tased him.

Meanwhile, sexual addict Mark "Tiger" Woods sat on a curb, nursing a sensitive region which had been repeatedly kicked and weeping softly. "Right in the middle of my speech," he sobbed. "I was at the podium, and I had just gotten to the part where I said that thanks to SA, I don't think I'd lose control now unless something like 500 sluts just happened to walk by. And then BLAMMO. I just lost it. Oh, God, I hate myself."

Despite the setback, Slut Walk organizers pledged to keep slutting it up all over town. "We will not be slut-shamed, slut-silenced, or otherwise prevented from owning our sluttiness," declared a slut who identified herself only as Fierce.

Reached for comment, Beavis and Butthead expressed their support for the sluts:

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

You want augmented reality glasses to watch Wagner's Parsifal?

Why I won't be going
Next Article

With each location, El Pollo Grill has gotten more colorful

Longtime grilled chicken specialist also rolls some of San Diego’s most loaded burritos
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.