Jon Reimer 6 p.m., July 27
- Community Blog
Just Move On Already
I don't know if any of you have been on Fern/30th starting from at least University heading south but if you have, either in a car or on a bike, you'll know that the lanes are so thin that if you were to lay across the street, your body would be the connector between sidewalks across the street. I'm pretty sure whoever designed the roads in this city (including the parking lot spaces that are supposedly big enough for an actual car) was off on his/her calculations as to how wide to build city roads. Apparently they never played Sims. But the Fern/30th corridor is terrible. And that is why I never park on that street for fear that someone will inadvertently (or on purpose) take off a side-view mirror. I've already had the driver side of my car slimed with a fruit slushy, and no doubt by some drunk d-bags after a night at Hamilton's and a few minutes in 7-11.
However, according to one homeowner, parking an RV that is for sale along that road is no problem. Now, this is no simple RV. This is a Vectra, the behemoth of motor homes. It sticks out like I would at a daycare- bigger than all the other kids and just makes everyone uncomfortable.
This Vectra has been parked there for several months. The going price, according to the handwritten note on the windshield, is $18,000. I looked up the price of Vectras and found that a one year old Vectra goes for over $300,000. I did not get the year of the RV sore thumb in my 'hood but it certainly doesn't look new or even one year old. However, that is a very drastic difference in prices, which begs several questions.
What's wrong with it? (subquestion: Did your Aunt Edna die in it while on vacation or something?)
Is it because of the price of gas these days?
Wouldn't it be more cost-effective to just sell your house and live in the Vectra?
Now, I can't really answer the first question (and I don't want to know the answer to the subquestion) because I haven't done a full inspection on the thing. Hell, I'm so short I'd need a step-ladder just to get in the damn thing.
As for the second question, well, I can understand that. Even though prices seem to fluctuate around the $3 mark, that's still expensive. Now, according to my research, these moving buildings on wheels have a fuel tank capacity of approximately 125 gallons. That means that at a cost of three bucks a gallon (even diesel), filling up one of these things costs somewhere around close to $400. As a little side note, I'm sure this makes foreign oil companies quite happy. Anyway. My point is filling up a Vectra costs almost as much as half of my monthly rent. Which brings me to the third question.
To me, this just seems logical. Maybe it's because I've never owned a home before but it's called a motor HOME for a reason... because you could actually live in it. So sell the house instead and do us all a favor and move your second home off the street, hunh? Your little yellow cone directly behind it does no one any good because we still have to swerve into the other lane of oncoming traffic just to get around that mammoth.
Furthermore, where are all the rent-a-cops in those little three-wheelers that give out parking tickets as if they get paid per ticket? Wouldn't this be like a gold-mine for you? There have to be several laws this person is breaking by leaving it there. Hell, you could probably buy your own police department with all the infractions this RV is creating.
By the way, while looking at the parking ticket FAQs on the link I just provided, I found something that really could be relevant in all of this. Tell me if this question makes sense: "I received a parking citation but I do not own a vehicle. What should I do?" Seriously? This only confirms that they're handing out tickets like we're begging for them. They have to be. How can you get a parking ticket if you have nothing to park? Then again, maybe the people that ask these questions live in motor homes and don't consider it to be a vehicle, which I guess removes the motor from motor homes.
Wow. The Circle of Idiocy has got me dizzy.
More like this:
- What Is It, South Park, That Porn Did to You? — Dec. 5, 2009
- What Is This, a Disney Movie? — Nov. 29, 2009
- Dear Mr. Fantasy — Oct. 12, 2009
- Learn It, Love It, Live It — Oct. 6, 2009
- How steep does a road have to be to qualify for a ticket for not having your tires turned in towards the curb? — Aug. 9, 2001