Ok, it has been one silent weekend in South Park Square. I mean, absolutely nothing going on. Highly disappointed. However, I have a trio under the window with their random conversations, which will be touched in shortly, and also about how I just had to instigate something last night.

There are three people, two females and a male, sitting on the bench outside the bar/restaurant I live over and chatting away about the most random things. They talk as if they hold their tea with their pinkie finger floating. They have traveled to Japan and Australia and India, and about the different smoking habits in these lands. And the male was wooing the ladies with his story about how on one of these vacations he got sick and they had to do surgery; still has the scar.

"Wanna see it?"

"Yeah! Show us your scar, Mr. Man of the World!"

I can see them sitting cross-legged with their chins propped on their anticipatory balled-up fists, eyes wide like it's Christmas morning and the best gift is still in the garage and has tassels on the handlebars. Anyway. They've gone back in now so while I'm sad to say the commentary on the small pack of Out-of-South-Parkers is over, in a way I'm kinda glad. They were annoying. Moving on.

So it's been quite dreary here. Not in a weather sense because, you know, we live in San Diego. But just in a whole-lotta-nothin' going on. I mean, there's a bar that's supposed to be having an anniversary party. Where are the drunk idiots (aka the Yah Dudes) stumbling down 30th screaming, "No no... so check it... so I told her she did look fat in those pants," and the rest of the gang chuckles. As for the drunken females, usually it's, "Oh my gawd, I'm so drunk. Are you drunk? 'Cause I'm drunk. Ooh, nice shoes." Anyway. Back to the story.

So last night it's around 10-ish and I'm bored as all-get-out. I hear people walking by but nothing blog-worthy. So I figure, while people are filing by, let's go outside and have me a cigarette. Now, I already know the outcome of this experiment. Usually it's glares and comments. But that right there is the fun, you see. The comments are the best. Here are a few from last night. After I would hear the comment, it really depended on if I said anything back to them.

Oh, before I go on. I want to say that I don't think it's cool to subject people to cigarette smoke. In fact, if I am outside slowly killing myself and I see people coming, I will go out of my way to get the cigarette away from them. This includes getting about 5 to 10 feet away from where they can walk comfortably. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, the list:

In no particular order:

  1. cough

These comments automatically get a verbal response from me. Simply because, come on, is that all you have? Here's my response:

"Whew, good thing you don't smoke with that cough."

I love the return glare.

  1. A couple walked by and the lady said, "Oh, and I recently quit smoking." Well, doesn't that make you special? This situation I decided to keep quiet and just chuckle some. But it reminded me of a memory from when I was younger, maybe late teens, early 20s. This might explain where I get my sarcastic bitterness towards things. I was still living with Mom and on television there was a commercial involving a middle-aged couple playing tennis, and the guy was explaining how he was glad is hemorrhoids weren't bothering him anymore, thanks to Preparation-H. My mother, completely dead-pan and without missing a beat, says, "Yeah, but you're still a flaming a**hole." The reason it reminded me of this memory is because I had a very similar comment that I kept to myself last night.

  2. "Sigh.... I miss smoking."

I heard this one twice, actually. I mean, I didn't even sit out there and have about seven cigarettes consecutively. I would go out for maybe fifteen minutes, really milk the udder some while the masses passed by. Last night I did this about three times. And I heard this comment twice among the numerous glares, mumbles, fake coughs, all of that. I hear that people miss smoking and it was as if they were missing a long-lost pet or something. You're welcome, random ex-smokers. It was my pleasure to revive a memory of something you are apparently very fond of. Next time, just visit your friendly convenience store and I'm sure they will be more than glad to conveniently dispense some death for you too. Provided you show ID, of course. If you're not of age, kids, don't smoke. And stay in school. 'Cause school is cool. And don't do drugs. But seriously, drinking is bad. Just follow along with this blog and you'll see.

Great. Now I sound like a cult-leader in the making. Anyway. I'll just end this now.

And that, my friends, is my neighborhood.

More like this:

Comments

antigeekess Oct. 11, 2009 @ 12:07 a.m.

"Whew, good thing you don't smoke with that cough."

LOL. LOVE that. :)

"I was still living with Mom and on television there was a commercial involving a middle-aged couple playing tennis, and the guy was explaining how he was glad is hemorrhoids weren't bothering him anymore, thanks to Preparation-H. My mother, completely dead-pan and without missing a beat, says, "Yeah, but you're still a flaming ahole."

You must be proud to the be spawn of such an evil genius. Fabulous.

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SDaniels Oct. 11, 2009 @ 1:35 a.m.

"You must be proud to the be spawn of such an evil genius. Fabulous."

Beat me to it, doll :)

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SDaniels Oct. 11, 2009 @ 1:38 a.m.

My opinions on smoking on this thread, #3 in particular sums it up:

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Adam92102 Oct. 11, 2009 @ 1:54 a.m.

Let me add to my disclaimer.

Again, I do my best to get out of the way of people walking by. A majority of the time, not many people walk by me on my nicotine mini-party. But when they do, I give them plenty of way, and even hold the smoke out at arms length. I don't blow it in their direction nor do I scoff at their non-smoking status.

The idea of this blog is based simply on the ones that take it way too far. I am near a business establishment, which I'm aware of. However, I also live here, just as that article spoke about. But if I'm making an obvious effort, please do the same. I promise you won't contract cancer in the one and three-quarters seconds you might come in contact with it. Just keep walking and everything will be fine, at least until the next impending tragedy in your life.

I have been gathering up the nerve to quit a 19 year smoking habit. Recently I played Ultimate Frisbee and, well, let's just say my lungs were screaming at me within the first 20 minutes. I want to quit and will figure out a way. Cold turkey didn't work so I'm trying to find a cheap way to do it. Damn my addictive personality!

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SDaniels Oct. 11, 2009 @ 2:01 a.m.

"and even hold the smoke out at arms length."

Wow, Adam, can you teach me to do that? :)

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SDaniels Oct. 11, 2009 @ 2:02 a.m.

Contract the flu, and have plenty of sedatives on hand. Has worked for me! I stress has...

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Adam92102 Oct. 11, 2009 @ 2:03 a.m.

No. It's magic. I must not tell you my secrets. If I do, you will get cancer.

And when I say smoke, I mean the actual cigarette itself. Not the smoke coming from the cigarette. Poorly used slang. My bad.

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SDaniels Oct. 11, 2009 @ 2:22 a.m.

Awwww. Darn! Where's Pike's latest? Having FullFlavorWithdrawals :)

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CuddleFish Oct. 11, 2009 @ 6:39 a.m.

I came from a family of smokers, from a time when smoking was common everywhere and at all times. My young lungs grew up enjoying the smell of Marlboros and Lucky Strike, unfiltered. I remember when people regularly died in mattress fires, as children we nearly did. When I used to go clubbing, I used to come home reeking of cigarette smoke. That's the way it was.

It's a different world now, but smokers don't seem to get it. I have no moral issue with people smoking, and I understand that they either want or need to smoke. I am so glad that laws have been passed to keep your smoke away from me and mine, but no matter what laws are passed, I still breathe smoke, either because many smokers are inconsiderate, resentful jerks, or because even the so-called considerate smokers can't keep their smoke out of the air where I happen to be passing. A whiff may or may not kill me, but likely a lot of whiffs will, and there's no doubt a non-smoker will get a lot of whiffs over the course of a week, much less a month, or a year. If you have a neighbor or a co-worker who smokes, you can't help but inhale smoke.

Strangely enough, I have become far more sensitized to smoke now that I don't live in it. If I get enough smoke at one time, I suffer an allergic reaction; the next day, I come down with symptoms like runny nose, sneezing, sore throat. Not fun. So yeah, if someone is standing outside the doors of a classroom, a laundromat, a restaurant, a government building, a store, and the smoke is blowing in, I tend to be a tad pissed-off. I don't confront people, I just mentally hate them for inflicting their habit on me.

I make you sick? You make me sick. Literally.

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PistolPete Oct. 11, 2009 @ 1:32 p.m.

Non-smokers bitching about my secondhand smoke is like someone near the Trade Towers complaining about dust after they fell.

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CuddleFish Oct. 11, 2009 @ 2:16 p.m.

Smokers bitching about non-smokers bitching about their smoke just goes to show their mentality.

If smokers really want to be considerate, they ought to be considerate of their lungs, of my tax dollars that will have to support them when they are in the hospital being treated for all the horrible diseases most of them will come down with, and of my and my children's health. Since they won't show that consideration, then they ought not to be so pissy when others point out how inconsiderate they are.

I am not someone who bitches about smokers smoking, by the way. I just quietly hope I don't die from their habit.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 11, 2009 @ 6:14 p.m.

We live in a world with filthy, filthy air--made toxic by car exhaust and the hellacious by-products of consumer culture. I personally think anti-smoking sentiments are WILDLY ironic. It seems to me that villainizing cigarettes is an easy way to point a finger at something and say, "there, that's what's wrong!" Meanwhile, we breathe filthy air and eat at Burger King, content with having identified the culprit which magically keeps us all from being in perfect health.

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antigeekess Oct. 11, 2009 @ 8:32 p.m.

Pike wrote:

"We live in a world with filthy, filthy air--made toxic by car exhaust and the hellacious by-products of consumer culture. I personally think anti-smoking sentiments are WILDLY ironic. It seems to me that villainizing cigarettes is an easy way to point a finger at something and say, "there, that's what's wrong!" Meanwhile, we breathe filthy air and eat at Burger King, content with having identified the culprit which magically keeps us all from being in perfect health."

Exactly. Between the auto exhaust and excessive non-native plant pollens and fungi alone, I don't know how we breathe at all.

And yes, it's ironic when Americans -- who cram our maws full of the most diabetes-inducing (and probably cancer-inducing) "food" imaginable on a daily basis, take inadequate nutritional supplements and don't exercise a bit -- want to get all judgy-wudgy about the tiniest wisp of cigarette smoke. That's just plain silly. We're not that fragile.

There's motivation to quit, however. Longterm use of cigarettes has a devastating effect on the body that's not even confined to the lungs.

http://www.smokingisgross.com/images/emphysema-lung.jpg

http://www.debutaunt.com/archives/36-smoking%2520thru%2520trach.jpg

(Sexy, huh?)

The good news is that if you choose to keep on keepin' on, there's all kinds of dandy equipment to assist you a little later on in life:

http://www.airwayoxygeninc.com/heliosmail.jpg

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/jha/lowres/jhan239l.jpg

https://www.abledeluxe.com/oscommerce/images/706201000.jpg

More good news: You can grow yourself some squeaky-clean lungs in a few years if you decide to quit.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Do_your_lungs_regenerate_after_you_stop_smoking

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CuddleFish Oct. 11, 2009 @ 9:49 p.m.

Unbelievable. We in this community live with a freeway in our midst, surrounded by heavy industry, residences next to businesses like auto mechanics, metal plating, recycling plants, paint shops. And people have the audacity to lecture on how bad the air is to us. Do tell.

By all means, pile your carcinogenics on top of the rest of the carcinogenics inhaled every day. It's not like there was ever any clean air for us to breathe in the first place. Oh wait, yes there was. But that was before, you know ....

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 11, 2009 @ 10:58 p.m.

Just saying that hanging cigarettes out to dry isn't going to fix our problems. Also not specifically accusing YOU of that by any means, Fisheroo. More of an indictment against American traditions dating as far back as the Salem Witch Trials of which we are ALL guilty (my own hypocritical self included, natch) because we are born and raised to live our lives like such.

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SDaniels Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:04 a.m.

9: Cuddle, you do realize how many times we as smokers have had to endure this rhetoric?

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SDaniels Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:16 a.m.

"Non-smokers bitching about my secondhand smoke is like someone near the Trade Towers complaining about dust after they fell."

Pete, I agree that the effects of second-hand smoke appears to be exaggerated, but this was a bad analogy. You of all people, as a 9/11 "truther" would be aware that the dust (present long)after the towers fell was indeed FULL of carcinogenic crap that the govt. doesn't want to admit has compromised the health of quite a few 9/11 digging volunteers, FDPD and NYPD. That would mean paying for their medical.

I tend to agree with Pike that the anti-smoking rhetoric is quite the red herring, and what makes me sick is the sixth-grade essay quality of most arguments, usually citing some junk science at the end. In this thread, Adam and I talked about being considerate, apologetic smokers. We don't need to be lectured about smoking's ills--you'd have to be a complete moron to not be aware.

And if you want to get on a horse about pollution--hey, try living as I do--as little packaging as possible and maximum recycling. Stop supporting cruel, environmentally disastrous factory farming and give up meat. Drive as little as you can. And it STILL makes barely a dent in the problem of industrial pollution of air and water...

So let adults have their habits. Enough said on my part, at least :)

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:19 a.m.

Let's all give Mr. Adam a round of applause for lighting a fire. He's in the club now, generating content! w00t

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:20 a.m.

^ Accidental pun.

Drinking Age Post Snarf!

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Adam92102 Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:25 a.m.

Next topic: euthanizing old, ill people in my neighborhood. Or should I abort them? Hmm....

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:28 a.m.

Can't it be both? There has to be a way...

Goodnight, everyone.

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SDaniels Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:30 a.m.

PS: I was not referring to anyone's argument here as "sixth-grade essay" quality. I was talking about some posts in the link I posted in comment #3 :)

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SDaniels Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:32 a.m.

You can abort a sickly argument :) Nighty night, Pikey. Going to check out your latest now.

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CuddleFish Oct. 12, 2009 @ 12:45 a.m.

Just saying that hanging cigarettes out to dry isn't going to fix our problems.

That isn't what you said, and that isn't what I said. Next.


Cuddle, you do realize how many times we as smokers have had to endure this rhetoric?


Probably half as many times as I have had to listen to smokers' rationalizations.

I was VERY CLEAR that I don't confront smokers. I have no moral issue with them. Y'all want to kill yourselves, go ahead. I got a problem with you killing me since I happen not to have your habit. To be dismissive of those concerns, to tell people to "buck up" when they point out their concerns, tells me all I need to know about the people making the argument.

And now this sixth grader is done with this subject.

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PistolPete Oct. 12, 2009 @ 2:27 p.m.

My apologies SD. I was in no way trying to make light of the 9/11 situation. Bad analogy? Kind of. I just meant that with so many pollutants in the air we breath,it seems as if smokers are the whipping bboy. And I didn't mean any offense to Ms.Fish either.

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CuddleFish Oct. 12, 2009 @ 5:01 p.m.

No offense taken, Pete. :) It's a controversial subject, and we all expressed our views, honestly, and frankly.

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SDaniels Oct. 16, 2009 @ 3:10 a.m.

re: #27: Actually, no offense was taken at all. I was just pointing out that after the smoke cleared, the dust-health issue in NYC was swept under the rug, as it were. And the second-hand smoke issue was dealt with very well in the smoking thread I mention in #3, so I won't comment further.

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SDaniels Oct. 21, 2009 @ 12:50 p.m.

Adam, I thought you might get a kick out of this.

As the lone smoker of two families, I am the one to be e-mail "interviewed" about my nasty habit; studied as a mere statistic in a fifth-grader's science class, as well as perhaps a moralistic coda to her oral component of the presentation: :)

When did you start smoking?

How old were you?

Why did you start?

Have you tried to stop?

Why or why not?

Thanks so much. This is part of my science homework and it is due on Thursday. We are exploring the respiratory system and the circulatory system in class.

Here were my particular answers: If anyone else wants to 'fess up about their disgusting habit of inhaling and spewing black fumes upon the rest of society, feel free to fill out the brief questionnaire--it is for a good cause!

SD's answers: (note the guilty tone)

I guess I should answer as punishment for smoking:

1-3. I first smoked a cigarette around 14 years old, out of curiosity.

  1. Yes, and succeeded, several times. One time I started back, people around me were astonished, as they could not picture me as a smoker. Each time I have started back, it has been due to emotional stress. Obviously, I need better ways to deal with emotional stress :) For the record, the next time I stop will be FOREVER, hopefully within the next few months.
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PistolPete Oct. 21, 2009 @ 2:51 p.m.

1.-Ten years old. 2.-Peer pressure. 3.-A few times but nothing too serious. 4.-I quit trying to quit. It's common knowledge that smokers are thought to have an oral fetish. Maybe not enough (O)Y(O) when they were younger? The way I look at it,life is going to lead to my death sooner or later. Why fight it and just enjoy life. I could keel over from a non-smoking related brain aneurysm as I type this. Something's got to kill me. Why not nicotine,alcohol or sex? With smoking,drinking and sex,if one of those kills me,I'll go to my grave knowing that I at least had fun on the way. :-D

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