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A rollover truck on Pamo Road in Ramona

First off, I pray that those of you who posted negative comments never go through what the Thrasher Family has had to endure because their daughter made a choice and got into a car and unbuckled her seatbelt. When the phone rings late at night or I see a police officer out of the corner of my eye I panic for just a second. I check in on my daughter (18) and son (15), and if they are where they are where they are supposed to be, I relax. They were both friends with Jadean. My last memory of her is my mom coming to visit and coming into my room to ask me who it was that was sitting on the couch with Michael watching a movie. I told my mom “Its okay, that’s just Jadean” There was nothing “just” about Jadean though. Earlier that week Jadean and I commiserated over the rigid dress code at the school Jadean and my daughter attended; no purple or blue hair for them. I wish I could go back to the last day I saw her and tell her not to go out there, “leave your seat belt on girl”, I would tell her. March 6 2007 was devastatingly painful for my children, My son hit the wall with his fist, that was his only outward reaction, I have noticed that he became aware that he is not immortal, death happens, and he found out in the most difficult way. Losing her has impacted him in ways I never saw coming. Darker than the “teen angst” I went though with my daughter. When it was learned that the adult driving the vehicle would receive three months in jail for his part in her death the kids reacted with shock and anger. A sentence at all shows me that there was guilt, three months though, is a slap on the hand, don’t do that again or next time someone dies we will really punish you. I believe that my family would react much the way Staci and her brood did. I would want the person responsible to be brought to justice, of course that was before I was robbed of my “idea” of a justice system. As a single parent of teenagers it is a difficult road I walk; I am loved and hated in the same breath. I want them to be independent and yet I am hurt when they don’t ask me for help. They ask me for help and I try to point out the ways they can do it on their own. I would love to spend more time with my son but he would rather play his guitar with his friends. I enjoy spending time with my daughter but she is getting ready to move away for college. My heart still grieves for Staci and her boys. I check in on my kids before I turn in, glad that they are both in there, safe for now. Tomorrow is another day.
— June 23, 2008 12:10 a.m.

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