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I Think I'm Losing
Susan, Some 2nd thoughts on Death since we last talked about it. Mary and I helped a good friend in Hawaii end her own life after a six year bout with breast cancer and the loss of her husband. Mary didn't fare as well. She tried to end her own life with Hemlock instructions but wasn't successful and ended up very sick and afraid to try it again or involve any of her friends because of the illegality they would face. She was courageous in refusing any life-saving measures after that but not without pain and discomfort. I've seen many people die of natural causes. Melissa had regular visitations from her husband, Dan Dicky, Phil said, "Death is exciting...It's like standing under a skyscraper during an earthquake", my Auntie spent her last day singing, "I want a Girl, Paper Doll, Sidewalks of New York", Ettilie died eating her lunch, and now as I care for my husband, his dementia takes me to Moscow for an extravagant dinner, To Victoria, BC to walk along the streets by the Empress Hotel and have High Tea even though he worries we're spending too much money. So who can say what goes on in the dying process? I can pretend bravado and say that I could end my own life but all of my religious training would probably mitigate against my doing that. I still believe your own fate should be an individual legal choice. Kervorkian had it right but like you I still see the beauty in my little cockatiel, Caruso, who mourns his lost mate singing endlessly beautiful songs, and my wild flowers blossoming in my front yard gives me great joy and reading your article makes me believe in the soul that Blake saw leaving his beloved brothers' body consoling his grieving family by saying, "Don't cry, I saw him leave his body and he was clapping his hands." I hope like Blake I can end my days singing a hymn...Thank you Susan for your wonderful words. It is amazing the changes life graces and challenges us with.— April 3, 2011 7:51 p.m.