sarah_bellum

Comments by sarah_bellum

There's Been an Accident. Jadean Didn't Make It.

"My position is and always has been... if 26-year-old Doug Garcia had not been picking my 15-year-old daughter and her 16-tear-old friend up from school and taking them out to the middle of no where to get high for the 3 weeks prior to her death...there would have been no accident for Jadean." No, there wouldn't have been. But there are a million other contingencies that could have prevented her death. What I contest is your calling Doug a murderer simply because a) he was driving when the car crashed and b) he may have engaged in statutory rape at a different time. These two are unrelated issues...and (a) is not the result of (b). It is not fair for you to call someone a murderer using this type of logic. I think people who undergo tragedies such as these are entitled to grieve to the point of irrationality. But you have clearly gone too far. I am glad that you at least acknowledge that she made a bad choice...by associating herself with the wrong crowd, by using drugs, by not wearing her seatbelt, etc. But there IS something to the argument that if a child is not capable of making adult choices, he/she should not be given to autonomy of an adult. I know that it is not easy to get around this however...ALL teens experiment..do stupid, and often dangerous things and their parents simply cannot watch them 24/7. But most of them come out alive. It is a real tragedy that your daughter did not, but your blame is incredibly misplaced and I would not be surprised to see Doug win his libel suit. As for the statutory rape charge(s)...THAT should be your focus. What the man is is not a murderer.
— June 6, 2008 2:24 p.m.

There's Been an Accident. Jadean Didn't Make It.

Though I sympathize greatly with Staci Thrasher, she is entirely out of line. Though the driver should not have been out with underage girls, there is no connection between his inappropriate behavior and the car accident. Her desperate attempt to identify foul play seems to be a product of her inability to realize that life is filled with tragedy. Sometimes, there is no one to blame but God. What the young man is guilty of is negligence. Not being careful, taking a turn too fast, not making sure underage girls were buckled in, etc. But Staci is guilty of negligence too. She did not know where her daughter was, seems to have a bit of an alcohol problem, goes through men like a pack of cigarettes, and cannot keep her bank account above $12. It might sound harsh to say this, but I grew up with such a mother and like Jadean, often found myself with a dangerous level of autonomy as a teenager. What bothered me most about Staci's story is how she treated Doug. Publicly calling him a murderer...sending her boyfriend/son posse out to harass him...and so forth. As a product of her misdirected grief, she is clearly ruining this man's life. I can picture Staci red-faced in outburst: "ruining HIS life...what about MY DAUGHTER...she is DEAD." And in response I say, that is a separate issue. It seems as if she wants Doug to have been drunk or high so she has someone to blame. My feeling is that her daughter was making bad choices for herself...and herein comes a mother's duty.
— June 6, 2008 10:51 a.m.

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