DaDaVe

Comments by DaDaVe

Never Homeless: House bounce

Jeff, I rarely post comments like this, but since you seem to invite constructive criticisms, I offer these. We've all got life stories, Jeff. And yours has the makings of something that could reach the hearts of people all over this country. You need to go back to the "Why?" of how you came to write this in the first place. It didn't start with an insurance job in 2011. This article sounded too much like every middle class person's daily struggle to put food on the table, deal with family issues, and pay the rent. Yours is a much more compelling story than that. I've been following your FB posts, and this article doesn't even touch on the more interesting aspects of your story. You need to do a prequel, starting with the sponge hat invention in 1987. Maybe even go back to JDRHS days. The article seems much more bland than the colorful picture you've been painting on social media. You don't want readers to finish the article and say, "So, what?" They need to know more about your quirkier side, the joy you've found in the crazy things you've done, the interesting characters you've met along the way, the things you've accomplished, and the personality you've built around yourself. Start thinking with the end in mind, and ask yourself, "Can this be made into a movie? Will people actually be interested and pay to see it?" From what I've read, I think the answer could be, "Yes." I think you should go into more detail about how you "work the system" finding all the great free (or cheap) events and deals that helped you get by. I imagine a "Steal This Book" meets "Private Parts" meets "The Night of the Seven Bonfires" (and other stories written in the 70's for the National Lampoon that eventually became the screenplay for "Animal House"). You should learn how to blog, or at least create a place where you can compile your thoughts and stories all in one place. Pretty sure you can set your blog posts to simultaneously post to FB. Good luck on your writing career. You've always reached for the stars, Fink. Don't give up, and keep on posting. And if it ever makes it into a paperback or Kindle Book, I think you should set the type in ALL CAPS, just as you posted on FB. That's all a part of who you are, my friend. I'm looking forward to the next installment of your saga. Regards, DaDaVe
— August 21, 2013 9:14 a.m.

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