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Stories by Patrick Daugherty

The Jouster

Where do you get joust training? Knight school!

Jouster Jeffrey Hedgecock of Ramona is one of three Medieval armourers in the U.S.

The Armourer of Ramona

Jeffrey Hedgecock, 43, of Ramona, makes armour. Think knights, Middle Ages, helmets, sallets, breastplates, gauntlets, faulds, greaves, poleyns, spaundlers, the whole deal, tip to toe. Making Medieval armour puts you in an exceedingly select guild. ...

Throwing Frisbee in Alaska

It's freezing, it's dark, it's time for Frisbee golf.

Mounted Martial Arts

An interview with Katie Stearns, mounted martial artist (she does archery while riding a horse).

Big man. Part 2

Part 2 of an interview with 400-lb Idahoan sumo wrestler Kelly Gneiting.

Big Man. Part 1

Not just another fat guy in a diaper.

Interview with Kelly Gneiting, the 42-year-old sumo wrestler from Idaho.

NFL Detention Hall

The NFL institutes disciplinary coursework for fans who get ejected from games.

San Diego–Barona Stars

When the Field of Dreams gets cut short, there’s always the San Diego–Barona Stars.

Time Out, My Identity's Been Stolen

A chat with a DeLorean owner.

A break from modern living includes a DeLorean.

Competitive Canaries

What’s going on in your bird room?

Interview with David Benites of the San Diego Canary Club.

Becalmed, Sports Fan

The lonely work of digging for sports.

Poring over magazines for sports news during the annual sports slowdown.

24 Hours of LeMons. Part 2

We were talking to Escondido homeboy, San Marcos State alumnus, and San Marcos High School English teacher repurposed into a stay-at-home dad, Mike “Spank” Spangler, 42. Spank drives the 24 Hours of LeMons. Said 24 ...

24 Hours of LeMons. Part 1

24 Hours of LeMons…with no car worth over $500.

Return of the Cart People

Golf pro and golf-cart driver Casey Martin won his U.S. Supreme Court case against PGA Tour, Inc.

Tour Divide: Nothing to Win or Lose But Honor

You think the Tour De France is crazy? Try the Tour Divide.

Bowling as a Bottom of the Barrel Sporting Experience

A big hole in your television sports experience is about to be filled.

WNBA as Advertising Agency

WNBA president Laurel J. Richie made her career in advertising.

This Is A Wickedly Unfair World. Just ask Floyd Landis.

Bicyclist Floyd Landis retires in shame and Lance Armstrong rides rich into the sunset? Is that fair?

Wives, Mothers, and Sluts

Very little honor among certain sportsmen – looking at you (again), Tiger.

Sports Inflation Comes Home

"That’s nuts." I’m on the phone with an old friend in Phoenix. We’ve been talking about her son who’s playing junior varsity baseball at a suburban high school. He wants to get (have Mom buy), ...

Tiger’s Back on Top, or So They Say

Here it is, Thursday, D-Day for the 2012 Masters. And here is Tiger Woods stepping up to the tee for his first drive. The man does have a hold on us. Only Tiger Woods could ...

Iron Mike Is Back!

Mike Tyson is opening his one-man Vegas act, Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth — Live on Stage, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on April 13. It’s the same arena where he had an intimate encounter ...

The East Coast Sports Industrial Complex was right, the West Coast sucks

By Saturday afternoon it was over. Gonzaga lost to Ohio State and there was not a single West Coast team left in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Before we go on, I should tell you ...

Piano Found

To recap: the NFL released the following statement Friday afternoon, a traditional dump day for embarrassing news. “A lengthy investigation by the NFL’s security department has disclosed that between 22 and 27 defensive players on ...

San Diego Spartans

The sporting world awaits, on edge, for March 2 and the first public exhibition of Ultimate Tazer Ball (UTB). The contest will be held in Thailand. Our hometown San Diego Spartans will be tasering the ...

We Speak of Jeremy Lin

He’s been so everywhere, it’s hard to remember the lad has been under the big top for, as I write this, only 15 days. His first NBA game as a starter occurred on February 4, ...

Baseball Injury Report

And so, baseball. Padres pitchers and catchers report to Peoria on Sunday. Once again I have been suckered into a fantasy baseball league by quaffing one drink too many in the company of bad men. ...

Now Is the Winter of Our Discontent

I have Dewey Not-His-Real-Name Pienkey on the phone. He’s a Nevada friend from olden days. Third generation, born and raised in Searchlight, a town of 550, an hour’s drive south of Vegas, known for the ...

The Over/Under on Mid-Riff

Super Bowl Sunday is upon us. It’s the one time every year when gamblers come out of their closets, fling open their bedroom windows, and shout out, “Yes, neighbor. Yes, Mr. Policeman. Yes, Mr. Employer. ...

Fade In

EXT. A TELEPHONE BOOTH. BALTIMORE ALLEY. RAINY. LATE NIGHT. Baltimore head coach John Harbaugh is drunk, drool and spittle ooze from his mouth, flows down his chin and cheeks, then gathers itself and drips onto ...

Will Indianapolis Heal Madonna?

The 49ers beat New Orleans, and Alex Smith is redeemed. The San Francisco QB, in crunch-chomp time, game on the line, threw a touchdown pass, a 14-yarder to Vernon Davis, with nine seconds left in ...

Postseason Mashup

If you look you can find some San Diego in Saturday’s 49ers/New Orleans playoff game. This, by the way, is as close to the NFL playoffs as we’re likely to get as long as Norv, ...

Top Sports Stories of 2011

Depends where you live. If you live in Huntsville, Texas, the big story of 2011 is Sam Houston State University winning a championship at the College Finals Rodeo for the first time in 43 years. ...

College Football Has Become a Busy Brothel

Greed until somebody makes you stop. You see it in banking, drug cartels, and politics. It’s especially raw in college football. Big-league college football has become a busy brothel. University presidents glide into the front ...

The Colts' Luck

Six weeks ago I wrote a column about the Indianapolis Colts deliberately losing their games in order to guarantee owning the number 1 pick in April’s NFL draft. Said pick to be used to acquire ...

Super Bowl Count: Packers 13, Chargers 0

I’m assuming you’ve heard about the Green Bay Packers’ stock sale that began Tuesday. The defending Super Bowl champion and only publicly owned nonprofit franchise in SportsWorld, USA division, is offering 250,000 Green Bay Packers, ...

World Cup Fever

We have a sporting pause before the NFL playoffs and college conference football tournaments begin, before NCAA basketball is cranked up to speed, and well before the NBA resumes its struggle to make you give ...

Work 10 Weeks, Take 10 Months Off, Part 3

I’m at table with Ms. Abby in the tea room of the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco. My current girlfriend has dressed me with care (Harris Tweed sports coat, matching slacks, shoes, and tie), ...

Penn State Is a Plantation, and JoePa Was the Owner

There is a continental stench coming out of Penn State. Step back, consider yourself a neutral observer with no stake in the scandal. Let’s say you knew there was an eyewitness to the (alleged) rape ...

Work Ten Weeks, Take Ten Months Off, Part Two

Chapter TWO – “What pipeline?” I say.

And what in the fuck is it with me that I can’t roll a straight joint? Todd snorts. “The one from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez. The one that’s gonna hire 20,000 people. The one that’s ...

Was Penn State a party to pedophilia?

Remembering that even this bastard is presumed innocent, it’s a quick transformation between a breaking news story and a corporate media storyline about said breaking news story. This is how torture becomes enhanced interrogation. You ...

Work 10 Weeks, Take 10 Months Off

Chapter 1 I found my first year-round job at the age of 45. Birthday boy was broke, living in a downtown Oakland, California, apartment, and 23 days from eviction. Normally, this would not be a ...

To Tank Or Not To Tank

On the phone with a friend I’ll call Henry Hill. He’s a family man, casino consultant, degenerate gambler, and believer in conspiracy theories. Henry thinks the Indianapolis Colts are tanking the season. Conspiracy theories are ...

In Yachting News...

On Sunday, Ted Turner and 14 others were inducted into the National Sailing Hall of Fame at the San Diego Yacht Club. As long as you aren’t married to him or work for him, Ted ...

Occupy ESPN!

Mountain West, Big East, ACC, SEC, Big 12, Big Ten, Conference USA, Mid-America, et al. College conference realignment reminds me of the good old days, circa 2007, when Goldman Sachs sold worthless collateralized debt obligations ...

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