January 8, 1956 - (date of death unknown)

Margo Elise Tresner was born Jan. 8, 1956, as the oldest of three daughters to Betty and Harry Tresner. She lived most of her life in Coronado, where she raised three children and became part of the fabric of the island, making friends wherever she went.

Making a difference came naturally to Margo. She devoted her life to social work and helping victims deal with domestic violence. In the end, she succumbed to a long and silent battle with cancer, but her work lives on in the many families she helped. She was 60.

A graduate of Coronado High School, Class of 1974, Margo later attended Southwestern College. She married early, and spent two years in Germany with her Army husband, with whom she had two children, Roy and Dyan. She married Dale Bower shortly thereafter and had a third child, Jason.

Margo majored in criminal law at Southwestern College. This led to a lifelong passion for helping people afflicted by domestic violence. Her job as a probation officer typically found her working long hours in dealing with work furloughs, juvenile casework and family violence throughout the city and county of San Diego.

For much of her time Margo was assigned to the Family Violence Project – a joint venture between the Probation Department’s Adult Field Services and the Department of Health and Human Services, which included Child Protection Services.

She worked closely with probation officers and social workers to provide integrated services to those families facing violence in the home. In many cases, these were among the most violent cases the department dealt with, covering such challenging areas as spousal abuse, child abuse and child molestation.

Margo retired as a probation officer with the County of San Diego in 2006, where she had worked since 1984, but not before being honored numerous times for her tireless efforts to make the world a better place, starting with children and families.

Margo had a take-charge attitude. And she always had a friendly shoulder to lean on, whether it was casework, family or friends. Today her sisters laugh at the wonderfully fun times the three of them shared growing up in Coronado while somehow managing to stay out of “trouble.”

Middle sister Lisa, 14 months junior to Margo, remembered an adventure the two shared at the age of ten. “Our father worked for Santa Fe Railroad, so we had free passes to ride the train anywhere, any time,” said Lisa. “We would tell our mom we were going to play on the ferryboat, and ride all day for a quarter. Then we would take the train to Los Angeles, and hang out in the oldest part of Los Angeles all day - Olvera Street.”

Some of her sisters’ earliest memories of Margo were hanging out at the Imperial Beach Rocket Roller Rink, where they took skating classes for years and spent many weekends.

“Margo was always there for us,” said sister Jill. “You rarely ever saw her mad or irritable. She had incredible stamina. And she always had the best advice for her little sisters.

“She always found a way to take care of her children, her sisters, her mother. She always put others first. It was always about us,” said Jill. “She was just that kind of person, and we miss her terribly.”

Lisa had equally special memories of Margo: “If there is one word to describe Margo, it would be ‘sweet.’ She was just a sweet and kind person who wanted to make a difference in this world. She was my best friend. She was the person I’d call when I had a problem, or wanted to do things. She was the shoulder I always had to lean on. She always put everyone else first. She was so easygoing, and that’s how we’ll always remember Margo.

“In the end, Margo hid her pain; hid her illness. She would never complain about a thing. That was her way. It was a long time before her she let us know about her cancer diagnosis,” said Lisa, “and even then she was more concerned about how we would take the news.”

Margo belonged to the Coronado Presbyterian Church, where she attended Sunday school as a child and sang in the children’s choir. She loved to travel and loved concerts. She was active in the Parent Teacher Organization and Coronado Rotary for many years.

Margo Tresner-Bower is survived by her mother Betty Dexter of San Diego. She is also survived by sisters Lisa Tresner-Dettmann and Jill Tresner-James (Keith) of Coronado. Also surviving Margo is her son Roy Sebastian of Danville, KY, daughter Dyan Sebastian of Coronado, and Jason Bower of San Diego. Other surviving family includes grandson Anthony Bower (USMC), granddaughter Nicole Bower of San Diego, granddaughter Lucy Sebastian of Danville, KY; and nieces Ashley and Natalie Dettmann of Coronado. Margo is pre-deceased by her father, Harry Edward Tresner (1968).

Services were held at the Coronado Presbyterian Church and the pews overflowed with friends and family. Margo’s remains will be scattered in various places that were special to her, including Hawaii, which was one of her favorite vacation spots.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made “In Memory of Margo Tresner-Bower,” to St. Jude’s fight to end childhood cancer, 262 Danny Thomas Place, Memphis, TN 38105.

The family wishes to thank all the wonderful people who supported them throughout this difficult time.