Stories | Straight from the Hip
Have a question you need answered? Send an e-mail to heymatt@cts.com or fax to 619-231-0489 or mail to Matthew Alice, c/o the Reader, Box 85803, San Diego, CA 92186.
Faucet-Pee Correlation, Ducks in a Row
By Matthew Alice, Published March 10, 2010
Hey, Matt: When I turn on the faucet, the rush of water makes me have a painful urge to urinate, and I mean physically. It feels as if I’m going to wet my pants if I ...
HDTV, Whitemail, Ice Production
By Matthew Alice, Published March 3, 2010
Hey, Matt: I’m disappointed in current HDTV and 4:3-aspect television. I cannot see any difference between the old and the new, quality wise, except people now appear even fatter. Can I blame AT&T U-Verse, or is ...
Moths to Light
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 24, 2010
Dear Matt: How good are the elves at figuring out questions that BUG people? Good, I hope, because there are lots of bugs in my brain lately. And around the porch light at my house. They’re ...
Frozen Waterfalls, Second World, Drinking Seawater
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 17, 2010
Heymatt: With all the snow back East, I was wondering if any of the waterfalls freeze when the rivers freeze. Or is moving water not ... More Post a comment
Tickle Studies, Ice Cream Truck Tunes, Avocado Seeds
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 3, 2010
Matt: Why can’t I tickle myself? Anybody else can tickle me, but when I try it, nothing happens. — Anonymous, via email Somehow this was ... More Post a comment
Drinks in Denver, New Zeeland
By Matthew Alice, Published Jan. 27, 2010
Dear Matt: I have some friends in Denver, and they keep wanting me to come visit. They say you can get drunk there faster and ... More Post a comment
Radiation & Roaches, Shortening & Oil
By Matthew Alice, Published Jan. 20, 2010
Hey, Matt: I have a question about cockroaches. You always hear that after we bomb everything else off the earth, all that will be left ... More Post a comment
Fish Eyes, More on Mushrooms, Estate Sales
By Matthew Alice, Published Jan. 13, 2010
Hey, Matt: Why is it that when I am swimming in the ocean or a pool and I open my eyes underwater it’s all blurry. ... More Comment (1)
Broken Hearts, Sick Flies
By Matthew Alice, Published Jan. 6, 2010
Heymatt: Why when a guy breaks up with you do people say you have a broken heart? Where did your heart start to be the ... More Comment (1)
Year-End Quiz
By Matthew Alice, Published Dec. 30, 2009
Grandma Alice is pretty happy to have Christmas done with. She says we’ve taken all the fun out of it. Shopping for the elves is ... More Post a comment
Mushrooms & Manure, Jeez Louise
By Matthew Alice, Published Dec. 23, 2009
Heymatt: I read recently that mushrooms (commercial mushrooms) are grown in hay and straw that has been used in the stalls of horse barns. So, ... More Comments (5)
Bug Bites, Pale Lips
By Matthew Alice, Published Dec. 9, 2009
Matt: Why do bug bites itch? And if our reflex is to scratch it, why doesn’t scratching stop itching? Sometimes it seems to make it ... More Post a comment
Tornadoes, Orange Decaf, More on Aspirin
By Matthew Alice, Published Dec. 2, 2009
Hi, Matt: I’ve never heard of there being tornados in England or Greece or anywhere else except the United States. Is this true? Why would ... More Comment (1)
Posted Property, Brackets, Place Stamp Here, Fuzzy Dice
By Matthew Alice, Published Nov. 24, 2009
Hey Matt: And the sign said “Posted, no trespassing.” I could see that it was posted, why does it say that? 2 parter: Talking about ... More Post a comment
Aspirin, Estate Sale, Verbose Women
By Matthew Alice, Published Nov. 18, 2009
Howdy, Matt: I’ve always wondered how when I take an aspirin for a headache the aspirin knows to go to my head and not to ... More Comments (2)
Women Talk A Lot?, Proofing Booze
Published Nov. 11, 2009
Why do women talk so much? — A Dude on the Internets Hard for us to believe that in the 50, 60 years we’ve been ... More Comments (8)
Hard Water, Question Mark
By Matthew Alice, Published Nov. 4, 2009
Matt: Does San Diego’s hard water cause any problems in a person’s body? Sometimes when I’m forced to drink tap water, it’s like drinking Clorox ... More Comments (3)
Video Gamers' Health, Miranda Rights, Car Radio Distraction
By Matthew Alice, Published Oct. 28, 2009
Matthew: Somebody gave my eight-year-old son an Xbox for his birthday. I am afraid he will become addicted to playing it and that it will ... More Comments (9)
Monkey Babies, Grocery Express Lane, The Clap
By Matthew Alice, Published Oct. 14, 2009
Hi, Matt: Do baby monkeys also keep their parents up all night crying and wanting milk and stuff? What’s the deal with crying babies? Wasn’t ... More Comments (4)
Gray Hair, Highlighter Ink
By Matthew Alice, Published Oct. 7, 2009
Heymatt! I don’t know what to do. I’m only in high school, but I found a gray hair on the side of my head a ... More Comment (1)
Calculator Batteries, Killer Terms
By Matthew Alice, Published Sept. 30, 2009
Matt: My solar-powered calculator. How long will it last? Is it a perpetual-motion machine that will go on calculating into the next millennium? Does it ... More Comments (2)
That Fish Smell
By Matthew Alice, Published Sept. 23, 2009
Hey, Matt: Why does all seafood smell the same, even though it comes from such different kinds of animals (mollusks, arthropods, vertebrates)? Okay, so maybe ... More Comments (28)
Chollas Lake Towers, TSA Confiscations
By Matthew Alice, Published Sept. 16, 2009
Heymatt: Chollas Lake in College Grove has a radio tower that played a big role in WW2, or was the first radio tower of its ... More Comments (10)
Bag-Breathing, Rose Hips, Rainfall Measurement
By Matthew Alice, Published Sept. 9, 2009
Matt, please: The other night me and my friends were partying up pretty well, and my girlfriend got kind of hysterical laughing at something and ... More Post a comment
Rice, Belts
By Matthew Alice, Published Sept. 2, 2009
Matthew Alice: Is all rice for human consumption actually farmed from earth? I find it hard to believe that every grain of rice sitting in ... More Comment (1)
Ship Christenings, Chocolate Susans
By Matthew Alice, Published Aug. 19, 2009
Hey, Matt: A ship was christened the other day. I believe it was named after the soldier that jumped onto a grenade during combat, saving ... More Comments (11)
Eye Color, Corrections
By Matthew Alice, Published Aug. 12, 2009
Hey, Matt: My friend’s baby was born with light blue eyes, but they changed to a sort of hazel color as she got older. What ... More Comment (1)
Plant Singers, Big Cheese
By Matthew Alice, Published Aug. 5, 2009
Help, Matt: My friend sings to her plants. She likes to sing anyway, but she says the carbon dioxide she emits when she sings to ... More Comments (10)
Water Weather, Child Labor
By Matthew Alice, Published July 29, 2009
Dear Matthew Alice: I learned in school that the air moves like water. We were studying airplanes and how they stay up in the air ... More Comments (2)
Transoceanic Vision, More Crane Info
By Matthew Alice, Published July 22, 2009
Hey, Matt: Last year that weatherman on Channel 9 (KUUUUUSI) said that, under the right, very unusual weather conditions, it was possible to see Hawaii ... More Post a comment
Oil Craters, Crane Construction, Sunny D Writes In
By Matthew Alice, Published July 15, 2009
Heymatt: I’ve always wondered what happens to the big hole left when we pump oil out of the ground. Considering all the oil taken out ... More Post a comment
Dream Senses, New York Minute
By Matthew Alice, Published July 8, 2009
Hello, Matthew: What exactly is your brain doing when you use one of the five senses in a dream? I always figured it was just ... More Comment (1)
Caribbean Tide, Killer Words
By Matthew Alice, Published June 24, 2009
Dear Matt: My parents and aunt and uncle just got back from the Caribbean on vacation. We all got together to look at their pictures, ... More Post a comment
Volcano Energy, Made From Scratch, Freeway Sign Mileage
Published June 17, 2009
Hey, Matt: Is it possible to get free energy from volcanoes? — Big Thinker, via email We’re already doing it, Big. Sort of. If you’re ... More Comments (8)
Zebra Riding, More on Odd Door Closings
By Matthew Alice, Published June 10, 2009
Matt: I like horseback riding but I’ve been thinking that I’d like to try riding a zebra. They’re related to horses and they look like ... More Post a comment
Pumpkins, Fast Humans, High Tide
By Matthew Alice, Published June 3, 2009
Hey Matt: Every year at Halloween time I wonder this. Since I have nothing else to do right now I figured I’d write to you ... More Post a comment
Resuscitation Air, Seasonal House Quirks, Bullfighter's Prize, Prohibition Booze
By Matthew Alice, Published May 27, 2009
Dear Matthew Alice: When you give somebody mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, you’re blowing air out of your mouth into their lungs. I always thought that when we ... More Post a comment
Loud Birds, Checkerboard Lawn
By Matthew Alice, Published May 13, 2009
Heymatt: I was on a walk the other day and it suddenly occurred to me that birds are very loud. I mean, considering how small ... More Comment (1)
Lights, Cameras on SD Roadways
By Matthew Alice, Published May 6, 2009
Hey, Matt: So what’s with the funky lighting along the new 5/805 merge? They have cute red-and-white beanies, antennas, and really cool monkey trapezes. I’ve ... More Comments (4)
Statue of Liberty, Mushroom Popcorn
By Matthew Alice, Published April 29, 2009
Hi, Matt Alice: I cleaned my silver necklace’s cross using a name-brand silver cleaner, but my wife says I am a stupid, ignorant, ugly male ... More Comment (1)
Pheromones, DTV
By Matthew Alice, Published April 22, 2009
They say that people are attracted to one another because of pheromones that we can smell. What would happen if you took pheromones from a ... More Post a comment
Water-Drinking, Tokyoites, Fart-Eating
By Matthew Alice, Published April 15, 2009
Matt: I drink a lot of water and Gatorade and stuff like that. My friend tells me I can die if I drink too much ... More Comments (10)
Swastika Building, Kidnap, Tire Dust
By Matthew Alice, Published April 8, 2009
Hey, Matt: Some time ago I was checking out San Diego on Google Earth. On Coronado Island, at what I am told is the Special ... More Comments (2)
Foot Baths, M.A.'s Career, Foot the Bill II
By Matthew Alice, Published April 1, 2009
Hey, Matt: Last year at the Del Mar Fair, my wife and I came across a booth where the company was selling some kind of ... More Comments (7)
Half Pennies, Finger Muscles, Foot the Bill
By Matthew Alice, Published March 18, 2009
Hey, Matt: Is it true that there used to be half pennies? If so, who was the president on that coin? — Jay, via email ... More Comments (2)
Water Bees, Toes
By Matthew Alice, Published March 11, 2009
Dear Matthew Alice: Are bees suicidal? I swim in an outdoor pool, and practically every time there is a poor bee straining to stay afloat. ... More Comments (2)
Dog Smarts, Leap Year
By Matthew Alice, Published March 4, 2009
Dear Matthew Alice: Can my dog understand me when I talk to him? I can tell him to sit down and to lie down and ... More Comments (4)
Rocks, Cancerous Animals
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 25, 2009
Heymatt: Traveling down the freeway of life, the latest wrinkle on the road are sand and gravel trucks with a sign claiming, “Not responsible for ... More Post a comment
Milk Cows, Panorama, Recycled Paper
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 18, 2009
Heymatt: What would happen if I owned some cows and I milked them every day for a while and then I stopped milking one of ... More Post a comment
Sperm, Universe, Fingerprints
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 11, 2009
Matt: Why do humans produce so much sperm if only one will fertilize an egg? And why are they in competition with each other? It ... More Comments (4)
Fingernails, Cactus, Poppies
By Matthew Alice, Published Feb. 4, 2009
Heymatt: The other day I tried pulling out my thumbnail. I just yanked on it for a while but nothing happened. Nails don’t look like ... More Post a comment
Cats 'n' Water, Rainbow Gold, Bullet Heat
By Matthew Alice, Published Jan. 21, 2009
Hey, Matt:My cat is obsessed with water. He’s an ex-stray I found shivering in the rain a year ago, and he’s been a housecat ever ... More Post a comment
- « View Older Straight from the Hip Articles
- View Newer Straight from the Hip Articles »
