Stories | Diary of a Diva
Fromness
Published July 1, 2009
To me, it seems a dreadful indignity to have a soul controlled by geography. — George Santayana ‘Where are you from?” It was a simple question. But the way Jane stared back at the guy, you’d ...
Playpendemonium
Published June 17, 2009
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. — Mell Lazarus Had it not been for the unmistakable racket of a wailing child and the desperate, hushed tone of ...
Love Is Not Enough
Published June 10, 2009
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. — Erica Jong As Karen chronicled her first few dates with a new guy, I couldn’t help thinking how ...
Bang Bang Published June 3, 2009
Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard I exited the freeway 20 or ... More Comments (15)
Marking a Milestone Published May 27, 2009
I love my father as the stars — he’s a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. — Adabella Radici Dad sat ... More Comments (5)
Working Girl Published May 20, 2009
Nobody on his deathbed ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” — Paul Tsongas I rolled onto my right side ... More Comments (2)
No Do-Overs Published May 13, 2009
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. — Dorothy Fulheim ‘That’s the third billboard for 17 Again that we’ve passed in as many ... More Comments (6)
Not So Swedish Published May 6, 2009
A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself. He can live without hope, without friends, without books, even without music, ... More Comments (5)
Receiving Bella Published April 22, 2009
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. —Joan Kerr Bella ... More Comments (9)
Junk Talk Published April 15, 2009
What’s the big mystery? It’s my vagina, not the sphinx! — Miranda on Sex and the City We were at Target, a store Jane hits ... More Comments (45)
Happy Tummy Published April 8, 2009
In the strict scientific sense, we all feed on death — even vegetarians. — Mr. Spock, Star Trek My friend Hanis has a tattoo of ... More Comments (118)
Empirical Girl Published April 1, 2009
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. — Rita Mae Brown "This is fantastic,” I said. “It’s not so good ... More Comments (4)
Assembly Accomplished Published March 25, 2009
Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. — Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon I gave a rundown of my day, as I do ... More Comments (8)
Pensive Phase Published March 18, 2009
I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. — ... More Comments (4)
Give and Take Published March 11, 2009
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. — Émile Zola I wrenched myself from the espresso-machine demo and ... More Comments (21)
Family Practice Published March 4, 2009
As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. — Solomon Ibn Gabirol I waited in the lobby and watched through the ... More Comments (6)
Without a Word Published Feb. 25, 2009
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. — Barnett R. Brickner It’s not that ... More Comments (6)
Horribly Obsessive Published Feb. 18, 2009
Any dolt with half a brain can see that humankind has gone insane. — Dr. Horrible I tried to hide my satisfaction when Janet ordered ... More Comments (14)
Undiagnosed Published Feb. 11, 2009
Disease is somatic; the suffering from it, psychic. — Martin H. Fischer It began on Sunday morning. From my first bite of oatmeal, whatever I ... More Comments (26)
Do Right Published Feb. 4, 2009
I dug right down to the bottom of my soul... And cried. ’Cause I felt...nothing. — A Chorus Line “Your phone is ringing,” David said. ... More Comments (20)
Lollipop Guild Published Jan. 28, 2009
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. — George Bernard Shaw Bella was the first to notice me. She ... More Comments (33)
Forsaking Friendships Published Jan. 21, 2009
Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone — but part, while you can part friends. Bury the carcass ... More Comments (15)
Pizza Nut Published Jan. 14, 2009
There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will. — Robert ... More Comments (26)
A Christmas Carol Published Jan. 7, 2009
Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future. — Gail Lumet Buckley Despite a ... More Comments (3)
Snow Sniveling Published Dec. 30, 2008
The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world ... More Comments (2)
Virtual Water Cooler Published Dec. 23, 2008
“Someone smells a little too human at Trader Joe’s.” — Shindotv on Twitter I bowed forward 90 degrees and slowly lifted my right leg into ... More Comments (20)
Twisted Sister Published Dec. 17, 2008
If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you ... More Comments (4)
Rite of Passage Published Dec. 10, 2008
Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. — Sophia Loren To say I was “looking forward” to Thanksgiving would be ... More Comments (10)
Dark Night Published Dec. 3, 2008
If depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about the nature of the beast: You may escape without a mauling. — Dr. ... More Comments (8)
Inner Child Published Nov. 25, 2008
“Thank heaven for little girls.” — Maurice Chevalier Once I set us up with drinks, a bowl of corn chips, and spinach dip from Trader ... More Comments (13)
Party Poopers Published Nov. 19, 2008
The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones. — Gabirol There are few things that ruffle my fancy feathers more than ... More Comments (5)
My Friends Published Nov. 12, 2008
Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed. — Irene Peter I’m not the type to mount a soapbox and demand credit for ... More Comments (3)
Portuguese Hospitality Published Nov. 5, 2008
I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place ... More Comments (6)
The Great Escape Published Oct. 29, 2008
Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves. — Earl Wilson Six months ago, when I first felt the ... More Comments (15)
The Newlywed Game Published Oct. 22, 2008
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. — Mae West The rain fell in big droplets on the centuries-old cobblestones ... More Comments (7)
Democratic Process Published Oct. 15, 2008
The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. — Maureen Murphy "Okay, ... More Comments (13)
Native Tongue Published Oct. 8, 2008
One way to prevent conversation from being boring is to say the wrong thing. — Frank Sheed ‘How do you say, ‘Your mother is a ... More Comments (7)
Clutter Clingers Published Oct. 1, 2008
Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. — William Morris David was both appreciative ... More Comments (4)
Comfort Food Published Sept. 24, 2008
An easygoing husband is the one indispensable comfort of life. — Marie Louise De La Ramee ‘You know what sounds really good right now?” David ... More Comments (18)
Poodle Peepers Published Sept. 17, 2008
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. — Rita Rudner When Rosa asked me what my plans were ... More Comments (8)
Homeland Absurdity Published Sept. 10, 2008
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere. — Frank A. Clark The only burp so far on our ... More Comments (10)
Animal Magnetism Published Sept. 3, 2008
If it’s true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers. — Doris Day According to ... More Comments (10)
We Sisters Published Aug. 27, 2008
Video games are bad for you? That’s what they said about rock and roll. — Shigeru Miyamoto Heather was right when she said an explanation ... More Comments (5)
Child's Pose Published Aug. 20, 2008
Yoga is difficult for the one whose mind is not subdued. — Bhagavad Gita Despite all the dismissive things I’ve said about patchouli-wearing chakra tweakers, ... More Comments (9)
Tele-Visiting Published Aug. 13, 2008
I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. -- Orson Welles I wondered whether or not it ... More Comments (16)
Play Day Published Aug. 6, 2008
What is bought is cheaper than a gift. — Portuguese proverb I had told Jen to be ready at 8:15 a.m. At 8 a.m. she ... More Comments (2)
Married Off Published July 30, 2008
All weddings, except those with shotguns in evidence, are wonderful. — Liz Smith The first one was periwinkle and the texture of living room drapes. ... More Comments (7)
Little Brown Dress Published July 23, 2008
When I free my body from its clothes, from all their buttons, belts, and laces, it seems to me that my soul takes a deeper, ... More Comments (9)
Hard-Drive Havoc Published July 16, 2008
User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.” — Dave Barry The initial symptoms of a massive failure, such as a heart ... More Comments (4)
Vest-ment Published July 9, 2008
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one. — Bill Gates David’s brother Dana and I stood side by side, surveying ... More Comments (3)
Daddy's Girls Published July 2, 2008
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. — Gloria Naylor Like a good amateur psychologist, when I encounter a hot mess of ... More Comments (6)
Panty Party Published June 25, 2008
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. — Dorothy Parker Most of the “lingerie parties” I’ve attended have featured women arriving in their finest lace or ... More Comments (8)
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