Stories | Diary of a Diva
Morbid Curiosity
Published March 10, 2010
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. — Dorothy Parker ‘Huh. I never thought about it like that.” The others paused in a conversation they were having about cocktails and looked ...
Fairy Gothmother
Published March 3, 2010
The world does not always understand that those within a subculture are merely people, and that when people are targeted for being different, humanity suffers a loss of itself. — Gothic Volunteer Alliance In nightclubs from ...
Girl Talk
Published Feb. 24, 2010
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. — Chauncey Mitchell Depew With each glass of wine, Jen sunk a little deeper into the ...
Brewskies
Published Feb. 17, 2010
Beer and rugby are more or less synonymous. — Chris Laidlaw I like to think of myself as pretty hip. It’s not as if I’m ... More Comments (22)
Faking It
Published Feb. 10, 2010
Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts. — Abel Stevens “How can we invite her and not invite him?” I asked David. ... More Comments (5)
Golden Opportunities
Published Feb. 3, 2010
It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. — Roy Disney A tight shot on George Clooney’s face opened and ... More Comments (4)
Finding Fergal
Published Jan. 20, 2010
There is an Irish way of paying compliments as though they were irresistible truths which makes what would otherwise be an impertinence delightful. — Katherine ... More Comments (3)
A Way with Words
Published Jan. 13, 2010
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. — Marshall Lumsden "Dododummyshutup,” said my ... More Comments (8)
Lost in Resolution
Published Jan. 6, 2010
I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s. — Henry Moore January is my least favorite month. February is cozy with groundhogs ... More Comments (3)
Magic Kingdom
Published Dec. 30, 2009
There’s a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out. — Lou Reed Heading north on the 163, I yawned and ... More Comments (3)
Germ Warfare
Published Dec. 23, 2009
There are always germs, and you’re never going to get rid of all of them. — Cheryl Mendelson I scrutinized the underside of David’s shoe ... More Comments (2)
Pinky Swear
Published Dec. 16, 2009
If you wish to converse with me, define your terms. — Voltaire "We could have watched a movie in the time it’s taken you to ... More Comments (2)
"T4M"
Published Dec. 9, 2009
The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out. — Thomas Babington Macaulay ... More Comments (12)
Fresh Crop
Published Nov. 24, 2009
Architecture is a social act and the material theater of human activity. — Spiro Kostof If you told me five months ago that one day ... More Comment (1)
Ugly Truth
Published Nov. 18, 2009
The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always. — R.D. Laing After I broke the news to my mother that David and ... More Comments (7)
Wine Snobs
Published Nov. 11, 2009
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. — Eleanor Roosevelt David swirled the wine in his oversized glass and brought it to his ... More Comments (4)
Unusual Suspects
Published Nov. 4, 2009
I have never smuggled anything in my life. Why, then, do I feel an uneasy sense of guilt on approaching a customs barrier? — John ... More Comments (4)
Bee’s Knees in the Barrio
Published Oct. 28, 2009
Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both. — David Brown I led ... More Post a comment
Halloweenie
Published Oct. 21, 2009
[Halloween is] overrun by grown-ups who claimed it as a holy rite in the church of perpetual adolescence. — Lawrence Downes "I want to go ... More Comments (18)
"Pokémon"
Published Oct. 14, 2009
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. — Unknown "Are you sure you don’t mind if I ... More Comments (6)
Generation Gap
Published Oct. 7, 2009
That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another. — Adlai Stevenson I sidled up to ... More Comments (23)
Partners in Crime
Published Sept. 30, 2009
Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. — Oliver Wendell Holmes ‘Here I was, sitting outside ... More Comments (5)
The Detailer
Published Sept. 23, 2009
Housework, if it is done right, can kill you. — John Skow David emitted a little grunt each time he advanced, making it only a ... More Comments (2)
Insidious Infections
Published Sept. 16, 2009
In the nineteenth century, men lost their fear of God and acquired a fear of microbes. — Author Unknown Swine flu is tearing my family ... More Comments (43)
Board-domme
Published Sept. 9, 2009
The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign of little souls and inferior intellects. — Lord Jeffrey I struggled to ... More Comments (26)
Friendly Research Squad
Published Sept. 2, 2009
Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. — Author Unknown "Two cups of coffee and I’m still groggy.” I brought my fingers to my forehead and ... More Comments (48)
Flying Solo
Published Aug. 26, 2009
Language...has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being ... More Comments (70)
Seven Year Itch
Published Aug. 19, 2009
When something itches, my dear sir, the natural tendency is to scratch. — Dr. Brubaker in The Seven Year Itch Are you getting itchy?” I ... More Comments (20)
Wild Wedding
Published Aug. 12, 2009
How do you forge a friendship in 140 characters or less? — Rosa Jurjevics "So, how do you know Charley and Rebecca?” asked the woman ... More Comment (1)
Comfy Cozy
Published Aug. 5, 2009
When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat? — Chuck Palahniuk "This is just the kind of thing I was ... More Comments (7)
Mice at Play
Published July 29, 2009
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. — Bertrand Russell The stars were bright ... More Comments (6)
Ticks-ident
Published July 15, 2009
There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them. — Andre Gide I sensed that the status was definitely not quo, ... More Comments (17)
Furry Children
Published July 8, 2009
I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts. ... More Comments (182)
Fromness
Published July 1, 2009
To me, it seems a dreadful indignity to have a soul controlled by geography. — George Santayana ‘Where are you from?” It was a simple ... More Comments (6)
Playpendemonium
Published June 17, 2009
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. — Mell Lazarus Had it not been for the unmistakable racket ... More Comments (2)
Love Is Not Enough
Published June 10, 2009
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. — Erica Jong As Karen chronicled her first few ... More Comments (12)
Bang Bang
Published June 3, 2009
Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard I exited the freeway 20 or ... More Comments (16)
Marking a Milestone
Published May 27, 2009
I love my father as the stars — he’s a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. — Adabella Radici Dad sat ... More Comments (5)
Working Girl
Published May 20, 2009
Nobody on his deathbed ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” — Paul Tsongas I rolled onto my right side ... More Comments (2)
No Do-Overs
Published May 13, 2009
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. — Dorothy Fulheim ‘That’s the third billboard for 17 Again that we’ve passed in as many ... More Comments (6)
Not So Swedish
Published May 6, 2009
A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself. He can live without hope, without friends, without books, even without music, ... More Comments (5)
Receiving Bella
Published April 22, 2009
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. —Joan Kerr Bella ... More Comments (9)
Junk Talk
Published April 15, 2009
What’s the big mystery? It’s my vagina, not the sphinx! — Miranda on Sex and the City We were at Target, a store Jane hits ... More Comments (45)
Happy Tummy
Published April 8, 2009
In the strict scientific sense, we all feed on death — even vegetarians. — Mr. Spock, Star Trek My friend Hanis has a tattoo of ... More Comments (118)
Empirical Girl
Published April 1, 2009
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. — Rita Mae Brown "This is fantastic,” I said. “It’s not so good ... More Comments (4)
Assembly Accomplished
Published March 25, 2009
Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. — Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon I gave a rundown of my day, as I do ... More Comments (8)
Pensive Phase
Published March 18, 2009
I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. — ... More Comments (4)
Give and Take
Published March 11, 2009
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. — Émile Zola I wrenched myself from the espresso-machine demo and ... More Comments (21)
Family Practice
Published March 4, 2009
As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. — Solomon Ibn Gabirol I waited in the lobby and watched through the ... More Comments (6)
Without a Word
Published Feb. 25, 2009
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. — Barnett R. Brickner It’s not that ... More Comments (6)
Horribly Obsessive
Published Feb. 18, 2009
Any dolt with half a brain can see that humankind has gone insane. — Dr. Horrible I tried to hide my satisfaction when Janet ordered ... More Comments (15)
Undiagnosed
Published Feb. 11, 2009
Disease is somatic; the suffering from it, psychic. — Martin H. Fischer It began on Sunday morning. From my first bite of oatmeal, whatever I ... More Comments (26)
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