An open community built on acceptance, unless by that, you mean the acceptance of your building proposal.

On November 9, the San Diego City Council approved the Ocean Beach community plan, which was designed to, in the words of Ocean Beach Head Hippie Marijuana Jones, "serve as the city of San Diego's guide for land-use decisions in the Ocean Beach community and as a touchstone for such issues as maintaining the character of the community while at the same time employing environmental protections and actions for our coastal enclave, man. It's a pretty groovy proposal. Check this bit from the Community Appearance and Design Element: 'Ocean Beach's physical situation, level ground, and gently sloping hills unbroken by canyons contribute to a sense of peace.' How cool is that?"

Before-and-after artist's representation of Johnson's proposed changes to his OB property. Says Johnson, "How could anyone who doesn't hate fun oppose this?"

But at least one resident doesn't think the Appearance and Design Element is cool at all: Dick Johnson, a partner at the downtown law firm of Johnson, Johnson & Johnson. Bored by the uniform luxury of La Jolla and no longer young enough to function in Pacific Beach, Johnson purchased four adjacent beachfront lots in OB, with the intention of turning the space into "an exact replica of Leonardo DiCaprio's house in Wolf of Wall Street. Because of course. Unfortunately, it seems that the superconservative old-timers who run this part of town are terrified of change and are enemies of personal expression. Because suddenly, I'm reading crap like, 'new residential construction shall be in the form of garden-type units, compatible with the overall existing character of the community in terms of finished materials, colors, and structured elements.' So apparently, freedom's just another word for being forced to build a 1300-foot mud-colored shack with a xeriscape meditation garden and no pool."

Johnson pleads his case at a special closed-circle session of the OB neighborhood council.

"I mean, seriously," continued Johnson. "Just listen to this: 'Elements such as beachfront promenades, bikeways, benches, signs, street lights, telephone booths, fountains, drinking fountains, mail boxes, trash cans, bike racks, railings, sidewalks, planter boxes, play equipment, fire hydrants, and paving material all act together to establish the visual quality of an area. All such elements should exist in a coordinated manner, and should be designed to relate to each other and to the community in order to enhance visual quality.' Drinking fountains! I guess the Birkenstock really is the new jackboot."