WISHING THOSE POSTERS HAD NOT ACTUALLY BEEN FOUND ON THE WALL IN THE SDPD'S SEX CRIMES UNIT, DOWNTOWN — "Being chief is a tough job," says San Diego Police Chief Bill Lansdowne. "It's hard to tell which of your officers are sexual sociopaths who made it onto the force only because they married a captain's daughter, and which of them are justice-loving public servants seeking to defend the common good. Officer Chris Hays" — a young officer accused of sexually assaulting six different women — "is a classic example of that. Of course, you always consult your Magic 8 Ball [pictured], but sometimes, you get 'Better not tell you now' or 'Ask again later.' Sure, there were warning signs, and we had to put him on notice a couple of times, but unless TV and movies have lied to me, it's always the cops who push the envelope and bend the rules who get results."
Lansdowne paused to poke at the bobbleheaded cops and robbers on his desk. "You see how there are more robbers than cops?" he asked. "That's not an accident. I keep these little guys here to remind myself of just what it is we're up against. Only the robbers we're chasing don't wear these masks and striped shirts. If they did, my job would be a whole lot easier."