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Brown tide rising

Ew.
Ew.

TALKING FUNNY BECAUSE I'M HOLDING MY NOSE, RANCHO SANTA FE — At about 2:30 this morning, a ruptured sewer main sent a great mass of human waste spilling into the streets of this super-wealthy enclave. Residents, long convinced that their shit didn't stink, were forced to reckon with the grim reality of their situation.

Many RSFers seemed prepared to simply bar their gates and retreat to their wine cellars until the crisis had passed. But longtime busybody Wilhelmina Brackthwaite took the opportunity to garner support for the cleanup effort already underway. Standing up through the sunroof of her white Cadillac Escalade limousine, Ms. Brawckthwaite shouted through a megaphone at the surrounding mansions:

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"Hear me, Rancho Santa Fe! Apparently, these undesirable elements have been moving through tunnels below our feet for some time, expressly to keep out of sight. But it seems that the pressures they brought on our already strained infrastructure were just too great. Something had to give, and something did. Now this great, heaving overflow — which we here in our excellent community have been able to avoid dealing with for so long — can no longer be ignored. The Brown Tide is upon us. It's in our streets, and we cannot simply wait for nature and time and the government to take it away. There is just too much of it. We must act, or else be overwhelmed. It may, for a time, seem like an impossible task: a neverending stream from the southerly regions. But we dare not fail. This kind of regulation is one of the first hallmarks of a civilized society. Our entire way of life may be at stake. Rally, fellow citizens! Take back our streets! Reclaim our neighborhood! Send these foul, invasive masses back where they came from!"

As of press time, Ms. Brackthwaite had received no response, except perhaps for a bemused shrug from Oscar Jiminez, a groundskeeper at the Rancho Santa Fe golf course.

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Ew.
Ew.

TALKING FUNNY BECAUSE I'M HOLDING MY NOSE, RANCHO SANTA FE — At about 2:30 this morning, a ruptured sewer main sent a great mass of human waste spilling into the streets of this super-wealthy enclave. Residents, long convinced that their shit didn't stink, were forced to reckon with the grim reality of their situation.

Many RSFers seemed prepared to simply bar their gates and retreat to their wine cellars until the crisis had passed. But longtime busybody Wilhelmina Brackthwaite took the opportunity to garner support for the cleanup effort already underway. Standing up through the sunroof of her white Cadillac Escalade limousine, Ms. Brawckthwaite shouted through a megaphone at the surrounding mansions:

Sponsored
Sponsored

"Hear me, Rancho Santa Fe! Apparently, these undesirable elements have been moving through tunnels below our feet for some time, expressly to keep out of sight. But it seems that the pressures they brought on our already strained infrastructure were just too great. Something had to give, and something did. Now this great, heaving overflow — which we here in our excellent community have been able to avoid dealing with for so long — can no longer be ignored. The Brown Tide is upon us. It's in our streets, and we cannot simply wait for nature and time and the government to take it away. There is just too much of it. We must act, or else be overwhelmed. It may, for a time, seem like an impossible task: a neverending stream from the southerly regions. But we dare not fail. This kind of regulation is one of the first hallmarks of a civilized society. Our entire way of life may be at stake. Rally, fellow citizens! Take back our streets! Reclaim our neighborhood! Send these foul, invasive masses back where they came from!"

As of press time, Ms. Brackthwaite had received no response, except perhaps for a bemused shrug from Oscar Jiminez, a groundskeeper at the Rancho Santa Fe golf course.

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Croome Brothers Trio, Jack Tempchin, Ricky, Swami & the Bed Of Nails, Kahlil Nash

Acoustic and electric in Del Mar, La Jolla, Little Italy, and City Heights
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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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