I was up early today watching for Santa Claus/The U.S. Postal Service. I have never been threatened by, or treated poorly by, a member of the United States Postal Service.

I have however been accused of being anti-government. I am not anti-governmert. I am anti-corruption, and while waiting on my "Christmas Tool" I got to thinking about my fifty something years of life as an American female in the year 2011.

"My Christmas Tool" is a flexible shaft screwdriver. I need this tool because - please choose one of the following in your mind. TY

A- it gives me pleasure to be responsible for the basics of maintaining a reliable vehicle in an era of female independence. B-I am a tool freak. C-I am Bi-sexual and I respond to tools. D-All of the above

I was expecting it to arrive today, the "Monday before Christmas."

Maybe I should back up. I bought a 1997 Mercury Villager, loaded, with the luxury I crave from a Mercedes, and the generic dependability, durability, and thriftiness (pre-tsunami) I have come to expect from fine Japanese engineers, over-seeing happy American workers in the year 1997.

(Wayne at Horn Auto and R.V., in El Cajon will be happy to provide you with a drunk call after you screw him out of five hundred or more dollars on a deal. At least he did for me.)

I am old enough to remember how my country ended WWII by threatening to annihiliate the Japanese people. That brings with it a powerful level of guilt. Guilt equals money, that's what I learned from my mother, Psycho Titty.

Today I am a beneficiary of that guilt. American guilt, not Psycho Titty guilt. My Mercury Villager has an above average history of customer loyalty. The "Mercury Villager " has it's own fan club. One which I have yet to penetrate. It's on a Yahoo platform. I may or may not be using the term "platform" correctly.I do know that Yahoo will not allow me to create an account using the online information I am allowing them to access.

I love my Mercury Villager. Please Yahoo let me join. What more do you need from me? Isn't my love enough? I adore my Mercury Villager, it is perfect for me. Power everything, including lumbar support. It is my sleek silver steed, evoking memories of my childhood escape fantasies.

It's seats are my love handles and I command it's power. When I'm behind the wheel, I feel like I could make it to a bridge over a deep chasm of dark water. I feel like I can escape my pursuers and become a freedom myth told by an obscure and dying race of people.

Ahhhh, yes. A freedom myth. I'm okay with that.

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Comments

Radical Uterus Dec. 20, 2011 @ 5:05 a.m.

Thanks for that. I love bringing delight to the world.You're one of my favorite bloggers. Nan too. She's hot.

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Ruth Newell Dec. 20, 2011 @ 8:55 a.m.

She's that. lol

Glad to learn that you still stop by to read my posts. I don't see you on (comment/post) as much as I did when I first joined. When I do though, I rush to read because you never fail to deliver that oh so delicious delight.

I've got to ask though--how on EARTH did you come up with that nick name for your mummy?

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Radical Uterus Dec. 20, 2011 @ 9:24 a.m.

LMFAO All I can say is, it was a natural progression.

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Ruth Newell Dec. 20, 2011 @ 6:52 p.m.

Sounds like it would make a humorous story, no?

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nan shartel Dec. 20, 2011 @ 11:25 p.m.

we're both old and still crazy after all these years eh hunnypant...hahahahahahahahaha ;-D)

love this one...do more pluease!!!

wait a minute...did u say "psycho titty"...wasn't that my nickname??....

nah,no not with these fried eggs

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nan shartel Dec. 21, 2011 @ 10:37 p.m.

much thx 4 being a "titty" conesieur DG...hahahahahahaha...

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Radical Uterus Dec. 22, 2011 @ 8:12 a.m.

Ok we have to stop now because my thoughts are racing into inappropiate areas of my brain. Must go watch small furry animals doing small furry things."Row,row,row, simple words really."

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Radical Uterus Jan. 8, 2012 @ 5:08 p.m.

Thank you, I am delighted. That is all I can say. A simple thing, I like simple things.

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nan shartel Jan. 6, 2012 @ 3:18 p.m.

da winner and still champ...radical uterus!!!

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Radical Uterus Jan. 8, 2012 @ 5:06 p.m.

Oh my god, oh my god I just logged in to post a thing about my neighbor Old Paul. This is just the booost I needed. I am delighted.

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Radical Uterus Jan. 8, 2012 @ 5:04 p.m.

Oh my god, oh my god this is so much fun, thank you I am delighted to see that ribbon next to my blog.

Seriously though, where is my hat?

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Radical Uterus Jan. 27, 2012 @ 3:48 a.m.

In all fairness to Wayne at Horn Auto and R.V. The phone call and the context of the phone call were characterized by me having underestimated Waynes sense of humor, although I did warn him that I would be writing about my car buying experience.

I am happy with my RUV and happy with my buying experience. I got a great deal and I would like to encourage people to go see Wayne for all your R.V. Truck, and Car needs.Drive a little save a lot.

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