Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Carnaval in Barranquilla, Colombia

It is difficult to relate the absolute hysteria of Carnaval in Barranquilla. Most nations couldn't handle an equal event without soon collapsing into a frenzied state of all-out warfare. But Barranquilla does it, and does it well – pushing all possible boundaries of celebration.

Daniel and I joined the festivities late Saturday afternoon, quickly discovering what it means to be a gringo at Carnaval. We were heralded like politicians everywhere we went. Women handed us their babies and daughters and gleefully snapped off photographs.

We were covered in foam, doused in talcum powder, soaked with water and then fed rum from small wooden and ceramic cups worn from thin string necklaces. Kids painted black with engine grease surrounded us wielding sticks like guns saying "we are FARC!" and demanded ransoms. Others covered our faces completely with foam and tried to pick our empty pockets while the crowd looked on, amused. The welcome was intense everywhere we went.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Everything about Carnaval is sexual. Women parade by in scant clothing and wild, colorful peacock feathers. Men dance around in the bizarre elephant mask of Marimonda, a classic archetype of Barranquilla Carnaval. Marimonda represents the core of the average Colombian man – a raving horny drunk bent on dancing, sexual pursuits and having the most fun possible at all times. "Monda" is a vulgar term referring to the exaggerated phallic nose that swings from the freakish mask. Others wear the costume of the dark mulato woman with afro wigs and red polka-dotted head scarves.

As it turns out, a curiously large number of Colombian men look exactly like Barack Obama when placed in a suit and tie. As such, Obamas abound, smiling and shaking hands deliberately everywhere they go. And what parade is complete without transvestites? Broad-shouldered men saunter around in high heels and nurse outfits, blowing kisses from behind black masks with red, exaggerated lips.

Little black ceramic handguns were being sold everywhere with pinkish flesh-colored penises on the end. It tickled us to think that somewhere there exists a factory dedicated to the production of these ridiculous penis guns. Someone’s job depends on drawing the veins and details just so.

Later we met two Englishmen who had been robbed with the old concealed weapon beneath the T-shirt trick. They handed over everything, never considering the overwhelming odds that they were being accosted with a cheap ceramic replica – nothing but a life-like penis tip at the end of the barrel.

The official slogan of the event is "Mama Ron en Carnavales!" The verb mamar means to suck as if from the nipple. Suck rum in Carnaval! And suck we did, dancing insanely with beaming Colombian girls who blew our minds with the unfathomable alchemy of salsa. A parade of women in bright, 1980s renditions of the future of fashion spun by in wild neon dresses with stacked wire skirts.

Something in my mind clicked. Everything became lucid – my consciousness felt on the brink of something huge, something infinite. I licked eternity with the tip of my brain, a massive déjå vu condensation of approximate Everything.

And then, just like that, it was gone.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Pacific Beach – car thief's paradise

Take photos of your automobile and license plate
Next Article

Taco Taco Poway still has 99-cent fish tacos

Tacotopia prizewinner is well known among Powegians

It is difficult to relate the absolute hysteria of Carnaval in Barranquilla. Most nations couldn't handle an equal event without soon collapsing into a frenzied state of all-out warfare. But Barranquilla does it, and does it well – pushing all possible boundaries of celebration.

Daniel and I joined the festivities late Saturday afternoon, quickly discovering what it means to be a gringo at Carnaval. We were heralded like politicians everywhere we went. Women handed us their babies and daughters and gleefully snapped off photographs.

We were covered in foam, doused in talcum powder, soaked with water and then fed rum from small wooden and ceramic cups worn from thin string necklaces. Kids painted black with engine grease surrounded us wielding sticks like guns saying "we are FARC!" and demanded ransoms. Others covered our faces completely with foam and tried to pick our empty pockets while the crowd looked on, amused. The welcome was intense everywhere we went.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Everything about Carnaval is sexual. Women parade by in scant clothing and wild, colorful peacock feathers. Men dance around in the bizarre elephant mask of Marimonda, a classic archetype of Barranquilla Carnaval. Marimonda represents the core of the average Colombian man – a raving horny drunk bent on dancing, sexual pursuits and having the most fun possible at all times. "Monda" is a vulgar term referring to the exaggerated phallic nose that swings from the freakish mask. Others wear the costume of the dark mulato woman with afro wigs and red polka-dotted head scarves.

As it turns out, a curiously large number of Colombian men look exactly like Barack Obama when placed in a suit and tie. As such, Obamas abound, smiling and shaking hands deliberately everywhere they go. And what parade is complete without transvestites? Broad-shouldered men saunter around in high heels and nurse outfits, blowing kisses from behind black masks with red, exaggerated lips.

Little black ceramic handguns were being sold everywhere with pinkish flesh-colored penises on the end. It tickled us to think that somewhere there exists a factory dedicated to the production of these ridiculous penis guns. Someone’s job depends on drawing the veins and details just so.

Later we met two Englishmen who had been robbed with the old concealed weapon beneath the T-shirt trick. They handed over everything, never considering the overwhelming odds that they were being accosted with a cheap ceramic replica – nothing but a life-like penis tip at the end of the barrel.

The official slogan of the event is "Mama Ron en Carnavales!" The verb mamar means to suck as if from the nipple. Suck rum in Carnaval! And suck we did, dancing insanely with beaming Colombian girls who blew our minds with the unfathomable alchemy of salsa. A parade of women in bright, 1980s renditions of the future of fashion spun by in wild neon dresses with stacked wire skirts.

Something in my mind clicked. Everything became lucid – my consciousness felt on the brink of something huge, something infinite. I licked eternity with the tip of my brain, a massive déjå vu condensation of approximate Everything.

And then, just like that, it was gone.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Pet pig perches in pocket

Escondido doula gets a taste of celebrity
Next Article

A poem for March by Joseph O’Brien

“March’s Lovely Asymptotes”
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.