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“So?” David asked, as we arrived to our home sweet home, the one I work so hard to protect and improve. “You going to run?”

“For all the drama and annoyance it brings, I like making sure things are running smoothly and that our considerable fees are not being squandered on stupid shit,” I said. “Last year I lowered our dues by tightening our budget and hired better window-washing and janitorial companies. I installed new security cameras and dealt with numerous individual issues. True, I was assaulted in the hallways countless times by people who don’t even bother to say hello, but then I get to bitch to you at the end of the day about how thankless the job is. So, in short, yes. I already sent in my candidacy form.”

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 9, 2009 @ 1:17 p.m.

Did you know the Reader is Tweeting? Follow us at http://www.twitter.com/SDReaderTweeter for daily amusement, deals, and updates.

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magicsfive Sept. 9, 2009 @ 3:28 p.m.

good for you, barb :) "...and when it comes to “pissing,” I’m confident in both my distance and accuracy." LMMFAO that was too funny!!!!!!!

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Kansaskid Sept. 9, 2009 @ 3:39 p.m.

Who is Lord Jeffery that I may pay him homage?

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 9, 2009 @ 3:43 p.m.

Happy you liked that, Magics. Did I mention my annual HOA meeting is tonight? Should be fun. ;)

Kansaskid, some more info on the Lord: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_...

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magicsfive Sept. 9, 2009 @ 3:58 p.m.

can you get the meeting on video? i would love to hear some of these complaints lol j/k :)

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SDaniels Sept. 9, 2009 @ 4:01 p.m.

I am a renter, so am not on my condo's HOA board, but I hear the horror stories and loud angry voices from the meeting room, and we benefit daily from their poor choices in property management services (and lack thereof).

We regretfully quit the community vegetable garden (land owned by the Port of SD) for many of the same reasons; though we were able to patiently trap feral cats and get them medical care, and did garbage and garden cleanup duty, we still received several citations for the presence of a couple of weeds on our plot from a council of petty tyrants and habitual, smallminded complainers who have no interest in working with the group, and do not appreciate the hard work put in by others. If you are an honest person with some listening skills, and try to work in true democratic fashion, they may walk all over you.

If you become head of the board, it's probably best to keep a separate phone line just to deal with its business :)

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 9, 2009 @ 4:05 p.m.

Oh, SDaniels, I don't give out my number, at least not to the irritants.

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SDaniels Sept. 9, 2009 @ 4:10 p.m.

Of course not :) Good luck with the meeting!

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 9, 2009 @ 4:14 p.m.

Magics, not sure I'd want that kind of footage. It's rough enough to sit through it the first time around. ;) SDaniels, well put! "a council of petty tyrants and habitual, smallminded complainers who have no interest in working with the group, and do not appreciate the hard work put in by others."

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sarahlayne Sept. 9, 2009 @ 8:11 p.m.

while I totally agree with 99% of your comments (I can't bear to sit though my HOA meetings anymore because of all the complaining), I wonder how "theft in a parking garage" is a petty complaint?

we have thousands of dollars of items stolen from out storage cage in our parking garage because of a security failure, so I am a little sensitive about this!

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PistolPete Sept. 9, 2009 @ 8:25 p.m.

Damn Barbarella....I have a newfound respect for you. I haven't exactly given up on your column because of this weeks installment. If you get tired of the whiners,let me know. I'll get drunk and hang around their condos till I have to elude the civilian murderers(police). It would be a fitting punishment. Tell them you know a redneck from Chicago you'll feed beer to if they don't shut the f*** up.

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antigeekess Sept. 9, 2009 @ 8:58 p.m.

I agree. The "pissing" comment was, well...

Golden.

:)

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 9, 2009 @ 10:02 p.m.

Sarah, you raise a good point. I should have been more careful with my punctuation, as that wasn't a petty complaint, as much as it was one of those things that is beyond my control. Aside from installing security cameras (which I have done), there is not much I can do about a theft of someone's car, especially with no sign of a break-in (which means it was most likely someone from within the building, or someone who was allowed into the building by someone who lives here). Theft is one of those things that has to be followed up with the police, and sometimes people expect the board to act in the same capacity as the police. I hope this sheds some further light on what I meant.

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MsGrant Sept. 10, 2009 @ 10:18 a.m.

I have to give you credit for being so involved in your HOA. I sat jury duty once - for a homeowner's association meeting that got out of hand. One of the homeowner's attacked the HOA president and he pressed charges. They selected me based on my use of a word they liked. They asked me what I knew about HOA meetings. My response was "they can get heated, at best".

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CuddleFish Sept. 10, 2009 @ 12:35 p.m.

Damn, Babs, that's a pretty ugly post, if reported correctly.

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SDaniels Sept. 10, 2009 @ 12:50 p.m.

Yay! MsGrant's back :) So can you tell us--what was the word you used?

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MsGrant Sept. 10, 2009 @ 3:18 p.m.

The word was "heated". They felt it best described an emotion somewhere between rational calm and the eventual fistacuffs.

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SomeoneElse Sept. 10, 2009 @ 8:20 p.m.

Having received requests for police to respond to neighbors arguing over one putting their trash can 1/2 ft over the other's property line, complaints like this do not surprise me. It's sad that we call people adults when they qualify in age only.

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 14, 2009 @ 1:35 p.m.

The latest from my building's psychotic complainer, Mr. "pissing match," in an email to management: "I ought to have known that THAT WOMAN who only has one name was behind this crap! This is the woman who threatened to call the police on me for harassment because I dared to write civilly constructed email complaints to her - AN ELECTED OFFICIAL who apparently wanted such responsibility. Then she has the audicity [SIC] to say hello to me in an elevator? This is pure CRAP."

See, people? I'm not making this s*** up. ;)

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PistolPete Sept. 14, 2009 @ 2:38 p.m.

You're an elected official? O_o Barbarella 4 prezident!

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Josh Board Sept. 14, 2009 @ 3:12 p.m.

Barb...is there a way you can explain to this guy, with very insane examples, why his complaints weren't followed up on? He obviously didn't get the fact that HE needs to find out where the noise is coming from, for anything to be done about it. So, you could say to him, "What if you hear a motorcycle ride by, and you write me a complaint about cars with loud stereos and loud Harleys driving by at night. And then you wonder why I'm not doing anything about it, or why I'm not on the street monitoring cars." Just keep walking him thru those types of examples, until he realizes that you guys can only do so much.

I would also explain to him, that having a disagreement with someone on a matter involving things like this, should hardly mean you'll be rude to each other in elevators or anywhere else you see each other, as that would be like 3rd graders not speaking to each other on the playground. Then ask him, "Would you prefer that when you ask us a question or file a complaint, we then just start ignoring you any time we see you? I don't feel that's how mature adults need to act."

And hopefully, talking down to him (and at the same time explaining that to him), should drive the points home. If not, f*** him, and don't say hi to him. And don't hold those elevator doors when they're shutting!!!!

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Barbarella Fokos Sept. 14, 2009 @ 3:22 p.m.

Josh, I could hire you for mediating. All good advice, though I prefer not to waste any more time explaining the obvious to someone who seems incapable of understanding it. I continue to smile at everyone I see in passing, even this guy, who apparently perceives my civility as antagonism. Hence my general misanthropy today.

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Joe Poutous Sept. 14, 2009 @ 4:08 p.m.

NOTICE: All tenant disagreements from this date forward will be resolved by means of competitive tequila drinking. The last tenant to fall out of their chair is the victor.

All decisions made via this "mediation" are final.

THE MANAGEMENT

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SDaniels Sept. 14, 2009 @ 4:16 p.m.

Any vacancies in your building, tiki? :)

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Joe Poutous Sept. 15, 2009 @ 5:53 a.m.

SD - you would just start trouble on purpose.

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SDaniels Sept. 15, 2009 @ 4:59 p.m.

Ah, but the kind of trouble I start is delicious! (Especially with lime :)

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