Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

A League of Their Own

The NFL season is upon us, and fans by the tens of millions are setting aside family time, domestic chores, and community service to meld with their HDTV. Let them — the Box is stalking bigger game. To wit: the United Football League (UFL). I have prepared an exhaustive, exclusive preview for your eyes only.

As few know and fewer care, the UFL is America’s new professional football league. Training camps are open, and the first contest is set — California Redwoods versus Las Vegas Locomotives, October 8, in Vegas.

The league was announced in June 2007 by William Hambrecht, founder of WR Hambrecht + Company, an investment banking firm. The UFL would be composed of eight teams, each one playing in a metropolitan area not serviced by an NFL franchise (read: L.A.).

And then the economy went south and the UFL is a year late, now with four teams and a six-week regular season. The championship game is scheduled for November 27 at Sam Boyd Stadium in Las Vegas. Games will be played on Thursday and Friday evenings.

So, how stand their chances? Follows, in no particular order, are some facts to consider.

Sponsored
Sponsored

The good: They’ve got some minimal juice. Original UFL investors are aforementioned investment banker Bill Hambrecht, former Google executive Tim Armstrong, and Paul Pelosi, househusband to Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives.

More good: Cheap tickets. The UFL plans to have an average ticket price of $20.

And more good: Money for players. Making the rounds on sports blogs, and finding itself a home on Wikipedia, is the following quote about the UFL pay scale: There will be “several players on each team making in excess of $1 million dollars a year.”

The bad: The UFL pay scale has been leaked. Marginal health benefits. Players sign a one-year contract for $35,000. If a player hits every incentive, it would be possible to make another $15,000. Punters, kickers, and long-snappers go for $25,000. Quarterbacks, $60,000, with some wiggle room if a Michael Vick shows up. It’s a six-week season, so the money is not as bad as it first appears, but it’s still working in the kitchen of In-N-Out Burger, compared to the NFL.

Good: The UFL has an experienced general manager, Rick Mueller. He’s a former NFL personnel executive, did time with Jacksonville and New Orleans.

Bad: Rick Mueller. According to the UFL, “Mueller will serve as GM to all four teams as well as overseeing all aspects of scouting and player acquisition for the League.”

Bad: Team names suck. Las Vegas Locomotives. California (San Francisco) Redwoods. Florida (Orlando ) Tuskers. New York Sentinels. It’s like the names were made up by people who live in Guam.

The owner of the Las Vegas Locomotives is our investment banker to the stars, William Hambrecht. The head coach is Jim Fassel, 1997 NFL Coach of the Year and Super Bowl XXXV loser. Fassel was fired by the New York Giants in 2003, then did two years with the Baltimore Ravens as offensive coordinator, providing them with one of the worst offensives in the league. Fired in 2006. But, the absolute and indisputable bottom of his professional career was found in November of 2008, when he wrote a letter to Al Davis recommending himself as the new Raiders head coach. The UFL is a mighty step up from that. The team has signed two quarterbacks you may have heard of — J.P. Losman and Tim Rattay.

The California Redwoods, owned by Paul Pelosi. The head coach is Dennis Green (who needs to be bitch-slapped ever since that Arizona Cardinals after-game press conference).

The Florida Tuskers, owned by Stuart L. Sternberg, a Wall Street investor. He is also principal shareholder in the Tampa Bay Rays. Head coach is Jim Haslett, who held that position with the New Orleans Saints.

New York Sentinels, owned by William E. Mayer, senior Partner of Park Avenue Equity Partners. Head coach is Ted Cottrell, former defensive coordinator of the Buffalo Bills, New York Jets, Minnesota Vikings, and San Diego Chargers.

The UFL has television contracts. Some games will be broadcast by the Versus network, other games on HDNet. Some will be webcast.

Will they make it? Well, it’s not a good sign, so much is last-minute. The name of the Florida franchise was announced on August 12, California franchise named on August 11, the chairman of the UFL’s board of directors was hired on August 6, and so on.

It’s absurd to have one general manager for four teams. So is a six-game regular season. The league is about washed-up players and coaches. And there are way, way, way too many investment bankers running the show.

Might work.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Mid-range fleet scoring bluefin limits off Ensenada

Rockfish to open at all depths April 1st (no foolin’)

The NFL season is upon us, and fans by the tens of millions are setting aside family time, domestic chores, and community service to meld with their HDTV. Let them — the Box is stalking bigger game. To wit: the United Football League (UFL). I have prepared an exhaustive, exclusive preview for your eyes only.

As few know and fewer care, the UFL is America’s new professional football league. Training camps are open, and the first contest is set — California Redwoods versus Las Vegas Locomotives, October 8, in Vegas.

The league was announced in June 2007 by William Hambrecht, founder of WR Hambrecht + Company, an investment banking firm. The UFL would be composed of eight teams, each one playing in a metropolitan area not serviced by an NFL franchise (read: L.A.).

And then the economy went south and the UFL is a year late, now with four teams and a six-week regular season. The championship game is scheduled for November 27 at Sam Boyd Stadium in Las Vegas. Games will be played on Thursday and Friday evenings.

So, how stand their chances? Follows, in no particular order, are some facts to consider.

Sponsored
Sponsored

The good: They’ve got some minimal juice. Original UFL investors are aforementioned investment banker Bill Hambrecht, former Google executive Tim Armstrong, and Paul Pelosi, househusband to Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives.

More good: Cheap tickets. The UFL plans to have an average ticket price of $20.

And more good: Money for players. Making the rounds on sports blogs, and finding itself a home on Wikipedia, is the following quote about the UFL pay scale: There will be “several players on each team making in excess of $1 million dollars a year.”

The bad: The UFL pay scale has been leaked. Marginal health benefits. Players sign a one-year contract for $35,000. If a player hits every incentive, it would be possible to make another $15,000. Punters, kickers, and long-snappers go for $25,000. Quarterbacks, $60,000, with some wiggle room if a Michael Vick shows up. It’s a six-week season, so the money is not as bad as it first appears, but it’s still working in the kitchen of In-N-Out Burger, compared to the NFL.

Good: The UFL has an experienced general manager, Rick Mueller. He’s a former NFL personnel executive, did time with Jacksonville and New Orleans.

Bad: Rick Mueller. According to the UFL, “Mueller will serve as GM to all four teams as well as overseeing all aspects of scouting and player acquisition for the League.”

Bad: Team names suck. Las Vegas Locomotives. California (San Francisco) Redwoods. Florida (Orlando ) Tuskers. New York Sentinels. It’s like the names were made up by people who live in Guam.

The owner of the Las Vegas Locomotives is our investment banker to the stars, William Hambrecht. The head coach is Jim Fassel, 1997 NFL Coach of the Year and Super Bowl XXXV loser. Fassel was fired by the New York Giants in 2003, then did two years with the Baltimore Ravens as offensive coordinator, providing them with one of the worst offensives in the league. Fired in 2006. But, the absolute and indisputable bottom of his professional career was found in November of 2008, when he wrote a letter to Al Davis recommending himself as the new Raiders head coach. The UFL is a mighty step up from that. The team has signed two quarterbacks you may have heard of — J.P. Losman and Tim Rattay.

The California Redwoods, owned by Paul Pelosi. The head coach is Dennis Green (who needs to be bitch-slapped ever since that Arizona Cardinals after-game press conference).

The Florida Tuskers, owned by Stuart L. Sternberg, a Wall Street investor. He is also principal shareholder in the Tampa Bay Rays. Head coach is Jim Haslett, who held that position with the New Orleans Saints.

New York Sentinels, owned by William E. Mayer, senior Partner of Park Avenue Equity Partners. Head coach is Ted Cottrell, former defensive coordinator of the Buffalo Bills, New York Jets, Minnesota Vikings, and San Diego Chargers.

The UFL has television contracts. Some games will be broadcast by the Versus network, other games on HDNet. Some will be webcast.

Will they make it? Well, it’s not a good sign, so much is last-minute. The name of the Florida franchise was announced on August 12, California franchise named on August 11, the chairman of the UFL’s board of directors was hired on August 6, and so on.

It’s absurd to have one general manager for four teams. So is a six-game regular season. The league is about washed-up players and coaches. And there are way, way, way too many investment bankers running the show.

Might work.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Celebrate Holi, Borrego Springs Music Festival

Events March 23-March 27, 2024
Next Article

Looking back at race relations in Coronado

A former football player recalls the good and the bad
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.