San Diego Reader

Wednesday, July 12

Spring Break Shark Attack (2005)

FAM 8:00 p.m. I'm going to spice up my time watching this movie by dressing up in my foam crab claws, a spicy little pair of red thong undies, and bouncy pogo shoes. When a shark attacks on screen, I'm going to spring into the courtyard and warn my neighbors that there might be an animal attack going on in my bedroom. I may growl and snap my claws like castanets to get my point across.

Thursday, July 13

While You Were Sleeping (1995)

FAM 8:00 p.m. I rubbed my naughty bits on one of your glasses, one of your forks, and one of your bowls. Now that you're awake, we can start our game of Which Place Setting Will Make Me Giggle. On the table! Dance, fool, dance!

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