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Heymatt:

You seem to be a expert on the subject of domestic house cats, so here's another one for you. Why is it they love to sit and lie on newspapers? And why is it always the page you are reading that they inevitably choose on which to park their bods?

-- John, Encinitas

House cats, those manipulative prima donnas, know just how to get what they want when they want it. If you should decide to read the paper when your pet decides it wants some attention, it will very craftily figure out the bet way to disrupt your plans. And what better way than to deposit itself right in the middle of your newspaper You might then pick Snookums up and wing her across the room, but there's always a chance (one that kitty is apparently willing to take) that you'll gather her into your lap and scratch her head while you read. Pretty clever, eh, John? I'll bet your tyrant cat also pesters you when you're on the phone (you're talking, and there's no one else in the room, so you must be talking to her!) and at other times when you may shirk your ownerly duty, which, to the furball's way of looking at things is limited to being a perpetually on-call caterer and masseur.

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