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Seen: Billboards at bus stops around town

Commercial: These billboards are tie-ins with the recent "alibi" line of TV commercials Vegas is airing. The billboards have a phrase with a missing verb like, "I couldn't stop _______ing all weekend." Or "We just stayed up and _______ed the whole time." With these I can't do anything except put the "f" word in. That's where my sixth-grade sense of humor automatically goes when faced with this sort of challenge.

Company: Xyience

Seen: Nothing but Knockouts, Pride Fighting Championship, The Ultimate Fighter

Commercial: A woman to sell nutritional supplements does ab and glute exercises next to a swimming pool. My thoughts: "Good lord. She's tanned skin pulled taut over muscle. She's hairless and oily slick like a Caucasian lizard. Is that woman even the same species as me? What I'm thinking has to be illegal in the Bible Belt states."

Company: Lunesta

Seen: Saturday Night Live, King of the Hill

Commercial: A luminescent butterfly floats from house to house and puts people to sleep. I don't like that there's an implied psychedelic affect. Let's just have out with it. Pills make you feel funny. They give you courage or somnolence or energy or whatever. I want to see that commercial. "Our pills put you to sleep. Give them a shot."

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